Steve Sims (@stevedsims) is the founder and CEO of the luxury concierge service Bluefish. He is an entrepreneur known for being “The Real Life Wizard of Oz” according to Entrepreneur Magazine for his reputation for making the impossible possible.
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What Travis and Steve discussed:
● How alone time helped Steve in achieving his goals
● Talking to yourself and making the uncomfortable comfortable
● The Story of Bluefish
● Two sides of the coin for entrepreneurs with their peers
● Relationships versus connections and more… Searching for a clear path to your dreams and goals takes time.
Join Travis and Steve in this episode as they discuss personal and interpersonal connections and relationships, and how they pitch the most unbelievable entrepreneurial ideas to their friends and make it happen.
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Transcript
[00:00:00] Steve Sims: I came from being an East London bricklayer poor, surrounded by a bunch of poor people. I don't wanna talk to poor people arrogantly. Why? Because I know what being poor's like and it's shit. And if you're happy being poor, you're not listening to this podcast. Yeah. The reason you're listening to this podcast is that you are aggravated to get more out of you, out of your substance, out of your solution, and out your life and out your relationships and that's what I wanted.
[00:01:01] Travis Chappell: What's going on everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Travis Makes Friends. Today I'm making friends with Steve Sims. Now, it's weird for me to say I'm making friends with him now because Steve and I have known each other now for five, five, and a half years. We've hung out in Thailand, different countries, and Vegas a few times.[00:01:18] See each other all over the place. And it's actually, it's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while. So welcome back to the show, man.
[00:01:23] Steve Sims: It's a pleasure to be here.
[00:01:24] Travis Chappell: Yeah, I was thinking about it. I think we've hung out a bunch, but I think the only other time you were on the show was when you were promoting your last book, which is, I think when we first got connected at Thrive through Cole.
[00:01:34] Yeah. Back in 2017. Your first book, bluefish,
[00:01:37] Steve Sims: and I think we knew each other. We'd spoken to each other prior to that. Yeah. Because I remember focusing on our connection at Thrive because I've got to know you and I've got to know, you know. Yeah. How a lot of people say a good thing, but don't hold their word.
[00:01:52] Mm-hmm. And I noticed that you weren't one of them. So I do remember Thrive making a note of Staying in contact with him all. So we knew each other before five.
[00:01:59] Travis Chappell: Yeah. Yeah. I think it was because Cole's mastermind was one of the first masterminds I ever joined. Right. I think you spoke at one of those meetups like with Caleb Maddox and
[00:02:09] a couple of other people or something.
[00:02:10] And I spoke the same, so Cole did a good job of helping people in the group. Right. Get up in front of people. And I had a big background in speaking, just never in a business context. So it was one of the first business talks I ever gave. And I think you were at that meetup and Caleb Maddox was there, A few other people were there.
[00:02:26] And then and then I had you on the show and then we were backstage. I won the Affiliate contest for getting people to come to thrive. And so, but I mean, backstage and then hanging out with Bradley back there and stuff. And then you came up, we started talking a little bit more and it was like, Hey, we should, we should do something together.[00:02:41] And then a few months later we found ourselves in Thailand.
[00:02:44] Steve Sims: Which is not a bad place to find yourself. No. Running around and took pad. Not at all. That's right. Oh, who can? [00:02:50] That was it. It was in Poquette.
[00:02:51] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
[00:02:51] Travis Chappell: But you, you, I remember you jumped on that opportunity because you lived in Thailand Yeah.[00:02:55] For a while. You've lived all over the place of all the places you've lived. What's the best one?
[00:03:00] Steve Sims: Where am I now? Cuz I think I was always searching. And I was always, you know, searching is a frustrating and aggravating and rewarding thing, but in that order and at that percentage.
[00:03:15] You know, I think as a youngster I was always trying to find, you know, where I. Kind of fit in when let's be honest, we don't fit in anywhere. So, you know, it aggravated me in England and I got this opportunity in Hong Kong and I took this opportunity and I got fired and then I stayed in Asia and I moved down to Thailand and then I ended up in Switzerland and then Palm Beach and now in La.
[00:03:38] But we were talking about it the other day. Me and my wife, I live up in the hills just outside of Malibu where there's no one near us. But we got loads of mountains most of the time. You know, we got sunshine where you're right. I think we are six minutes from the ocean,
[00:03:53] It ain't too shabby. Yeah. And I think we are really happy then. We've been there for nearly 10 years. Which is the longest we've ever had. anywhere. So I think we've gotta reach a point now in our fifties, and thank God a lot of people search forever. Yeah. Never find it. But I think we're very happy now.[00:04:09] We adopt too many dogs, and we just love living up in the hills and seeing no one
[00:04:15] Travis Chappell: and riding motorcycles,
[00:04:17] Steve Sims: ride motorcycles a lot. Yeah. It's mine and there's
[00:04:19] not
[00:04:19] Travis Chappell: too many other places. I'm not a motorcycle rider myself, but I assume there are not too many other places in the world that probably have better places to ride than where you are.
[00:04:28] Steve Sims: No, you're, you're right there. You know, Southern Cavo California, right? In this midsection of California are some of the roads that, you know, Mo Holland, the Rock Store, Neptunes pch, you know, angels Crest. These are names where bikers all over the world now are salivating. Yeah. You know, and, and they're my backyard.
[00:04:48] Right. But the funny thing is people get very confused about why motorcycling is. is such an addiction and so beautiful for me. it's one of the only places on the planet I can disconnect. Yeah. I can't give you a lift, I can't have a conversation with you. I can't make a phone call. I can't check a text or an email.[
00:05:09] Like I flew over here. I was texting on my flight. Yeah, right. You know, you, you chatting with so, but on a bike, you are on your own. Mm-hmm. And I think today, especially as entrepreneurs, we need to have conversations with ourselves. Yeah. We need to be in a place where we are just walking down the ocean, you know, running, jogging, you know, martial arts, whatever.
Part 1
[00:05:35] Steve Sims: Mm-hmm. where you've disconnected from the planet mm-hmm. to have your time. Yeah. And I think a lot of people don't do that. As for me, I love being on a motorbike. I've got a gig in San Diego in a couple of weeks. And I can't wait to go on here and ride nice. Because I get three, two and a half hours, three hours just riding, and I'm gonna take detours uphill.[00:05:57] Right, right. Just have my time and have a conversation with me
[00:06:00] Travis Chappell: It's incredible how often, the biggest and best ideas come out of alone time rather than executive team brainstorming sessions. There's just something about being able to connect with yourself and frankly, a lot of the times, even if it's not a better idea in terms of maybe the rest of the world or what maybe other people might get from you, it might be what you need in order to be able to connect back with yourself and pursue something that maybe you should be pursuing that you haven't been because you've been letting too many other people tell you what you should be doing or shouldn't be doing.
[00:06:37] And then you get alone and you kind of go like, actually, I kind of like doing that, or actually, I don't like doing that at all. Why am I doing this? I feel like I've had a lot of those moments recently where it's just like you get in the rat race and you get caught up in making sure that you're excelling and you're producing and you're doing more and more and more, and then you get some alone time.
[00:06:55] It's like, I don't really even like, like 60% of the things that I've been doing lately. It's like no wonder I've been a little bit stressed or no wonder I've been not enjoying this, you know, the last phase of my life. It's just like I'm disconnected from what I feel fires me up. And which, which really frankly is what's striving a lot of, you know, we're here.
[00:07:14] My proprietors are in Vegas right now filming this. And we're getting set up for our first dinner party tonight. And that's like really the major push for doing all these in-person interviews, for getting a beautiful space like this, for bringing a bunch of people in for a dinner party and, and filming the whole thing.
[00:07:27] Like all those ideas came from just alone time. And recognizing that I've been moving further away from the things that I enjoy doing rather than pursuing the things that I enjoy doing. Even if maybe other things could, you know, take some more of my attention. But if you're not careful, you'll just always give other things your attention.
[00:07:44] Steve Sims: That's why I absolutely loved Covid. Now I know a lot of people may go, ah, you know, people died. P look, I'm sorry for the pain. There's obviously no excuse for that. And you know, my heart goes out to any family that has lost a member. Covid was the greatest time of my life. Cuz as entrepreneurs, we are moving at 200 miles an hour.
[00:08:03] We don't wanna slow down because our competition is also moving at 200 miles an hour. and it's like trying to change the tires on a speeding vessel, you know, a speedy vehicle, and all of a sudden covid hit and no one could do anything. And it gave us that time to go, am I happy doing what I'm doing?
[00:08:20] I actually shut two businesses down in Covid. Oh wow. I both travel businesses because I felt I'd gone as far as I could. And I'd done as much as I wanted to do in that work and I shut 'em down. Yeah. Okay. Covid had nothing to do with it. Me, my love, my heart wasn't in it anymore. Yeah. And also I got time to kinda like really look at what I was doing and I've been married for God like 400 years, but I think it's like 37 years
[00:08:46] Of my life. You know, my first girl, my first kiss, met heat r 16, been with her forever. I knew I loved her. But I didn't know how much I liked her. And I gotta spend every single day. I couldn't travel, couldn't fly, couldn't go anywhere. And so then you gotta ask yourself those questions.
[00:09:03] am I doing what I like doing?
[00:09:06] You know, is this where I wanna spend my energy? You know, the people. And you suddenly look at your clients and you go, do I like all of my clients?? And I realized, no, there were some, I didn't. They were prints. They had a lot of money, but they were pranks. Right. So I started getting rid of some of the clients.[00:09:20] I'm like, hang on a minute. I need to do this for my life. Yeah. The amount of spring cleaning I did during Covid, was so therapeutic. So beautiful. And I've always tried to be me, you know? Unfiltered, unapologetic. This is it. If it works for you, great. Come on board, let's play. If it doesn't move along, we'd be fine.
[00:09:41] Yeah. But I was actually able to get clearer. During Covid about what motivates and excites me. And what scares me is that I need to be doing more of what I can't do very well. So I need to recruit people to do so. I absolutely love that. So I think the whole point of communication and connection really starts with you.
[00:10:03] And for anybody out there that's not jogging, rowing a boat, painting, doing martial arts, doing something where the phone is not in their back pocket. Yeah. Is physically away from them and the only conversation they're having is with them and Anton, then they need to find it if they're not.
[00:10:23] Travis Chappell: Absolutely. I remember, you know, the reason I say this, I remember I was like 20, 21, 22, you know, I was just getting started outta college and this is back when I was doing door sales. And a mentor at the time was like, yeah, I, I, you know, some of the best ideas that I get come from me spending time alone.
[00:10:43] He's like, and when I say alone, I'm, I'm by myself and I'm not touching my phone and I'm not watching tv. I remember thinking like, I don't think I could spend any, like, that sounds boring. That sounds miserable. Just to be by myself, like not hanging out with friends, not watching tv, not playing video games, not doing anything that engages me.[00:10:58] Like what am I gonna do? Like self-diagnosing now, looking back, I think that it was just a lack of practice at the time, frankly. Cuz I was just a young kid. I would never have been taught how to think for myself. It was just, I got taught what to think, not how to sit there and think through problems.
[00:11:16] So I think it was just a lack of practice first of all, but also I think it was a lack of, Is, if you don't have a vision or a dream, then what are you thinking about when you're by yourself? If there's nowhere that you're going to, if you're just thinking about the immediacy and like playing video games, then you just want to find yourself playing video games or hanging out with friends or getting a beer.
[00:11:33] So I was just like, or it's lastly and hopefully not this one, but more like you're just depressed and you are, there's something about yourself that you are not okay with. you're behaving in a way that makes you not okay with spending time with you. Do you know what I'm saying? This is a much deeper problem that you would definitely need to tackle, but either way, that's why I say that the attempt to spend time by yourself will reveal a lot of those things.
[00:11:56] Because if you literally find yourself being attacked by your own thoughts, because you know that you are maybe behaving in a way that you personally disagree with, but you keep doing this behavior, you don't wanna spend time with yourself because you start beating yourself up. And nobody likes being beaten up by anybody, let alone themselves.[00:12:13] You know, so they just, they constantly have a distraction on, I gotta listen to music, I gotta watch a movie, I gotta play a video game. I gotta be texting or talking to somebody, or on FaceTime. There are so many distractions that if we don't take purposeful time to make sure that hey, like it's a checkup with you and you, you know, like, Hey man, are we good?[00:12:31] You know, like, am I behaving in a way that makes me proud to be me? Can I spend time with myself? So if you're, you know, listening or watching next time you go for a drive, 20, 30 minutes. If you cannot sit in a car and drive for 20 or 30 minutes with zero music, zero podcasts, and zero anything on, it's probably an indication that there's something not right.
[00:12:56] Either you are not okay with something that you're doing or there's nothing that you're working toward. There's no dream, there's no future, there's no vision, there's no, I, dude, I don't even know how many, how often now I get lost in my thoughts and my wife kind of has to pull me back in and be like, Hey, hey, you there?
[00:13:11] You know, because I'm just, I'm, I'm picturing this, this version of life that's so awesome. It's just so vivid to me that I spend a lot of time there, you know what I mean? Where I'll be on a drive from Vegas to LA and forget to turn on music for four hours. You know, it's just like me by myself hanging out with me, thinking about where we're gonna be, where we're gonna be able to take the family in a few years.
Part 2
[00:13:33] Steve Sims: And it doesn't have to be in silence. And I'm sure I'm gonna get locked up for this next statement, but if someone could actually put a camera in my helmet, they would see me talking to myself. Because here's a funny thing, and here's an example. And you've been to a lot of masterminds. [00:13:49] And I remember when I used to start going to masterminds, of course, we've been to thousands now, so we're, we're comfortable. But in the early stages, you would walk in and you'd have imposter syndrome. Or you would defend yourself that you are being there. Half of the time. We don't do things because we listen to the wrong part of our mind that tells us that we can't do them. And the old line, if you tell yourself you can't do it, you're right. , you know? So you need to get all of you on board with what you're doing. Now, the number of times that, and I, I wrote about this in blue fishing, that I would be scared to get into an environment because there's this little devil on my shoulder going, Steve, yeah, you're gonna be found out.[00:14:29] What are you doing here? They're, they're gonna realize that you don't know, that you are not that smart. You know, that you didn't come for money. You know, as though there's, there's something wrong with all of those things. So you've really gotta be able to have that conversation with you to get all of your doubts answered.
[00:14:43] To girls, all of you have insecurities on board and go, Hey guys, I know we don't know what we're doing, that's why we're gonna try it so we can get an education. We get everyone on board and I literally will talk to myself, especially if I've gone, to an event, well, probably one of the biggest things people dunno about me is I'm quite introverted.[00:15:01] Hmm. I play an extrovert very well. Yeah. But I don't want to do these things. They've gotta move the needle for me. Right. And so when I know I've gotta do it, I go, well, okay, what do I want out of it? Why am I here? Is it? Establishing a bit of a relationship. Is it because I like people and I can grow from this?
[00:15:22] Is it that I'm promoting a book? Am I just trying to get smarter? But there's gotta be a reason. An extrovert will stand on stage, and take his clothes off. As long as he's getting a clap, he's happy. But an introvert will go, why am I there? Right. What's in it for me? What's in it for the audience? So for me, I believe you've gotta get yourself fine-tuned.[00:15:44] You've gotta ask yourself what I'm about to do, does it move the needle? And then you've gotta have that conversation with yourself to go, right, this is why we're doing it. It's gotta make us feel uncomfortable. But hey, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Right. Let's go.
[00:15:59] Travis Chappell: I'm sure that had to play into your decision to ultimately leave or shut down bluefish.[00:16:04] Right? So for those watching or listening who may not know the story, let's talk a little bit about Bluefish and we'll talk about shutting it. Down. Tell me how you first got started with this and, if you had like a sentence to describe what you did for people, what [00:16:16] would you say?[00:16:16] Wow.
[00:16:17] Steve Sims: Okay. So I always tell people that I wasn't in the business I was in. And that's obviously people can look at you and go, oh, all you want about. So to give you, the short and curliest for 25 years, I run the world's probably most successful and leading experiential concierge firm. I was retained to get people down in the Titanic with James Cameron drum lesson with Guns and roses tennis lesson with the great walk on stage with favorite rock stars, get married in Nevada, and by the Pope
.[00:16:45] Probably one of the most famous ones is the story of the guy wanting to have a dinner experience in Florence, and I shut down academia. The Galleria Museum, which houses Michelangelo's David, set up a table of six at the feet of David. And then halfway through that meal, I had Andrea Belli Soum.
[00:17:01] So I was known as the Make-a-Wish Foundation for people with really big checkbooks. But that's not what I did. What I wanted to do was have a conversation with a very successful individual and go, Hey Travis, why are you successful? And I'm not. Hmm. Because
[00:17:18] I came from being an East London bricklayer poor, surrounded by a bunch of poor people.
[00:17:24] I don't wanna talk to poor people arrogantly. Why? Because I know what being poor's like and it's shit. And if you're happy being poor, you're not listening to this podcast. Yeah. The reason you're listening to this podcast is that you are aggravated to get more out of you, out of your substance, out of your solution, out of your life, and outta your relationships.
[00:17:43] Mm-hmm. , and that's what I wanted.
[00:17:45] But I was surrounded by a bunch of broken bikers and they weren't going anywhere. Yeah. So I needed to have those conversations. If getting you into this club was gonna get me to have breakfast with you, hey, I'm in. If you wanna meet Elton John, and then I get, have dinner with you.
[00:18:00] Hey, I'm in. So, I was never in the business of the concierge industry. I was in the business if I'm having lunch, dinner, and breakfast with you. Yeah. And that was it. Yeah. So, along the way, I grew this massive concierge firm that got me doing things that, okay. You know, if it makes you happy
.[00:18:18] But I've walked on probably every red carpet from Macau to La. There's not a social calendar event that I've not been involved in for over 25 years. Mm-hmm. , I've worked with loyalties, Kings, dictators, name it. Mm-hmm. , you know, and I've, I've been part of it, but it wasn't something I wanted. And so when the conversation started drying up because I'd.
[00:18:40] I'd had 'em with Jean Bjo, Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Larry Page, and, and people that you've never heard of that owned things like countries. had those conversations and now I'm getting people going, can you get me backstage to meet Taylor Swift? And I'm like, well, for one, I don't want to do it.
[00:18:58] And for two, you're not that interested in what I have breakfast with. So it suddenly started getting to that period, and so started
[00:19:05] Travis Chappell: feeling like a job again.
00:19:07] Steve Sims: It felt like a bunny.
[00:19:08] Travis Chappell: I'm here laying bricks.
[00:19:09] Steve Sims: Yeah. Yeah. And people were like, oh yeah, I know. I would probably on a weekly basis get, Hey, can you introduce me to Richard Branson?
[00:19:18] And my answer would always be the same. Yes, I can. But the question is, what should I do, yeah? , you know? And if someone had something that compelled me, yeah. I made the intro, but it was just, so I just didn't like it anymore. Yeah. And so by that time, I was already speaking and coaching and training. And when my son, I launched a very successful branding company called Sims Media.
[00:19:39] I didn't need that anymore. Cuz I was having those conversations. So we were taking everything that we learned over those 25 years and then I went, let's stop it. It's been fun. Yeah. You know, at the end of the journey, let's stop it. And we were getting people going oh, I need to be in this chair or you know, I need to meet Mark Burnett because he needs to have me on his TV show, or I need so and so because he's gonna want to endorse me.
[00:20:02] We also got a lot of women that will contact us going, look, I'll pay you this cuz I need to be in that party cuz I need to get married. Hmm. I'm like, are you kidding? That's what you want? Yeah. So we just suddenly started getting to see a side of the planet. Yeah. Yeah. That I really didn't like playing with and
[00:20:19] Travis Chappell: out of alignment with what you like to do.[
00:20:21] Steve Sims: It wasn't my style. Sure. So, we closed, closed out that, and then it was a case of what do we do now? And of course, when you do what you love, you don't look at it as a job. Yeah. And as you know from Thailand and Thrive and all these other events I've spoken at, I've got a very successful speaking career, a very successful coaching career, and a very successful branding career.
[00:20:42] So it was just good timing to go, I don't need that bit anymore. Yeah. And when you clear up the stuff that you don't want to do, you've now got a chunk of the day to do more of what you do want to do.
[00:20:53] Travis Chappell: Totally, yeah. Even if it's not something that feeds your bank account, it's like this just feeds my soul and I actually like spending time with my family or traveling to this part of the country for a couple of days just because I want to do it and not because somebody's paying me to speak or something like that.
[00:21:10] Steve Sims: So I've got an answer for that. So the beautiful thing about getting to talk to successful people is you get to understand how they're successful,most people ask. Our idea of success with people that aren't successful. It's like the guy that's just sold his car and is now listening to financial advice from Jerry in the bar that's never left a bloody pub.[00:21:30] Yeah. You know, we listened to the wrong person and the wrong answers. I was getting great advice for monumentally successful people, and they would teach me how what you do are the cause and the reaction. And one of them once said to me, "Have you ever lost weight by buying a diet book?
[00:21:52] Now, he wasn't calling me fat, but the point was no one does. You lose weight from the action. Therefore, losing weight is a reaction to the action. If you want to make money in your bank account, don't stare at it. Do stuff that you can do easily. Continually now, when you go for a walk down the beach with your family, when you are doing things that aren't there to make you money, it regenerates you and makes you a fine, attuned person so that when you dip your toe back in the business world, you are a fulfilled individual.
[00:22:29] Yeah. And you become more impactful and more powerful and more magnetizing to people that wanna be part of that. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm a great believer that you may not be making money, and I know you are a great family man. You know, I know about you and your wife, I know you are very loyal and, and you know, just, just there in that moment.[00:22:50] But that makes you a better person that people wanna be with. So while you are making no money walking down, down the strip, or down the park or playing the field or going on holiday, when you are back in that moment, you are more of the person that p people want. So I think it's, I think it's great.[00:23:07] You really need to spend more of your life doing stuff that you want to do so that people want to be part of you.
Part 3
[00:23:14] Travis Chappell: So what about this book? Is this something that you wanted to do? You felt like this is Oh God, Absolutely. I was gonna say, so yeah. Blue Fishing came out with Good Success. Sold tens of thousands of copies.[00:23:25] Yeah, right.
[00:23:26] Steve Sims: Blue fishing went nuts and I was stunned. Yeah. Because it shouldn't have sold a copy. And, it should have been the biggest waste of your time to read it. And, and it, that, that's true. And I mean that, and, it's upsetting that it's sold so well because it was obvious stuff that people we were ignoring to do.
[00:23:52] Mm-hmm. and Interesting, like, you've put this whole thing on, to grow the relationships.
[00:23:58] People are picking up a business card and thinking they've got a relationship. They're friends on Facebook and think they've got a relationship. They see the same person at the seminar every year and think they're in a relationship.[00:24:08] They are not. And so Bluefishing came out going, look, when you wanna do this, do this, this, and this. And people. We're like, oh, don't. And I had billionaire clients that were reading my book going, never thought of that. And I'm like, why not? It's so simple. Why? And they're like, oh no. People will throw $10,000 at a problem rather than look at why they got the problem in the first place.
[00:24:33] Hmm. You know, it's the classic squeaky wheelbarrow, right? You don't use it, but you'll, you'll oil the wheel once a year. Never fucking used the thing. Right. And so it was that kind of mentality. So I did bluefish and it took off, and of course got me all the coaching, all the stuff I did. And then Covid came along.
[00:24:52] And if you'd have phoned me up a week before Covid and gone, Hey Steve, are you gonna write a second book? I'd be like, Travis, shut up. That's Nuy. Because anyone that's writing a book, it's kind of like being interviewed by yourself and it wipes you out. Yeah. And you, you sometimes you are putting this stuff in a book and then you can't sleep that night cuz you are thinking, whoa.[00:25:18] It's like therapy. I remember some days going through stuff and then going, I'm talking about this in the book. I do some of that, but I don't, I've gotta start doing that again. And I didn't realize I did that. And you don't sleep. So when the book comes out you also get people contacting you from all over the world.
[00:25:37] Oh, this I did. And you know, I split up with my wife because it wasn't the relationship that was working. And I'm like, shit, woo. Do you know? Yeah. That's heavy. Yeah. You know, and so there are all these kinds of things and I had people going, I didn't realize I had one guy contact me. He said, I realized I didn't have a relationship with my kids.
[00:25:55] Wow. And I'm like, I don't know you. Right. I've never met you. Oh, you got that from this book? Yes. Yeah. But he said I need to focus on my relationship. Yeah. Because we know we can download a YouTube video now that will tell us how to build a bridge. Probably. There's probably one on there that'll tell you how to do open-heart surgery,
[00:26:14] But there's no one there, no video on there that will make the relationship work for you. That's your work. You've gotta take action. So fishing came out, it was a beast that I just had to feed and I didn't want to ever do one again. And then Covid came across. And boy did I get pissed off at the beginning of Covid, because how many people did you see jumping on Netflix or jumping on Facebook going, Hey, what shall I binge-watch on Netflix?
[00:26:42] How else can I waste my life? Yeah. Right. And I'm like,
[00:26:46] Travis Chappell: I all of a sudden have this free time. You know, the one thing that I keep blaming everything in my life on is no longer there. And now that it's no longer there, what I'm going to do, instead of doing action on any of the other things that I've always said I was gonna do if I had the time, I'm gonna watch 12 seasons of the, the only thing these four shows apart from the hair.
[00:27:06] Steve Sims: The only other thing that I can't get is time. Yeah. Covid came across and went, since you're not gonna fly anywhere, now here's the DAF thing. I had a list of people that I wanted to connect with. , they weren't going anywhere. Mm-hmm. Everyone that I hadn't been able to contact for like 10 years, I'd always wanted to have a conversation with.
[00:27:27] I was now able to have a conversation within four months, my entire list. I don't have a list of people that I wanted to connect with anymore because I managed to do it in Covid, and I'm in Covid going, Hey ladies and Jets, we've now got a nine-day week. We got all of this time. Let's see how we can use it.
[00:27:46] And I remember saying to someone What's not gonna happen? You are gonna die. We all know that. We just hope it's not tomorrow, but we are all gonna die. We are not gonna get someone to come down and go, whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. Steve. Do you remember that? Two and a half years you lost outta covid. Let's start the clock again.[00:28:06] Cuz you get that back. That's not gonna happen. That shit's gone. And I saw all these people wasting their life and I was enjoying it. and I was walking the dog and I'm having conversations that would last well into the afternoon with my wife. And I'm having conversations with myself just sitting in the garden doing it at a cappuccino with my dogs, going, why didn't I ever implement that?
[00:28:29] Why am I doing that when A, I'm not qualified to do it. I'll get a VA in the Philippines to do it at $10 a month, or B, why do it at all? Because they don't even like it. Let's get rid of that. So I started going through it and I'm not, you know, this, I'm not good at being subtle. So I started to put this shit on Facebook and I said, you, you asked me what to binge-watch from Netflix and you, you're gone.
[00:28:55] I'm blocking you from my feet. And someone said to me, you should start writing this shit out a little bit. So I started doing blogs. Okay. Bit by bit it started and I, someone said, you need to put this in a book. Now during C O V I. Right at the beginning, apart from the binge-watchers, there were a lot of people that were screaming the exact same Anthem.[00:29:18] Oh, COVID, I can't connect with people. Zoom, FaceTime. Let's forget about those for a second. Phones, yeah, let's forget about those for a minute. I can't connect with people. Do you remember those people going, oh, I can't go down to the gym when their fat ass wasn't going down to the gym before Covid? But it was a period of excuses.
[00:29:38] Now, right now, we couldn't connect with each other. We couldn't form relationships with each other. But then what happened during Covid, all of a sudden we started attacking each other. And the thing that suddenly got invented during Covid canceled. Let's find out something that you did that was inappropriate in 19, you know, 84, and then let's fuck your career for him.
[00:30:05] Right. Do you know? Right. You dressed up as a penguin. How insensitive to penguins, let's screw your career. Right. And we did. That didn't matter if it was true, we started throwing shit at everyone. And we ended up with the Gotcha society. And people were scared to say something, just in case a snippet of it was taken out of context, boomeranged, and is now on TikTok until you die.
[00:30:28] And then all of a sudden other things happen. Me too. Black Lives Matter, Asian hate Trump. All of these things that we needed to have discussions on, we needed to have conversations on. It was healthy enough to have a protest. But who was gonna say anything? Who was actually gonna remark and have an opinion on it or ask questions?
[00:30:51] Who was gonna look ignorant enough to go? I didn't know there was a problem. Yeah, educate me cuz now you look stupid. So now what are we doing? In a time when we are not connecting and communicating, we're now terrified to communicate. So this was pissing me off. If you say something and I don't agree with it, I'm gonna go, Travis, I don't understand that opinion
.[00:31:17] Yeah, where's it coming from? Yeah. And I want to know where it's coming from so that I can relate to it. Maybe not agree with it, but understand. Ah, that's how you got it right. If you are born into a racist family and you grow up being taught racism, who's to blame? But now we've got the chance to go,
Hey.[00:31:39] your family didn't do the best for you. You understand that because those that you love said it. Mm-hmm. , you know. But do you understand why this maybe should be Ah, yeah? We've got the chance with our words. Yeah. To help each other. But everyone's terrified of social media now and they're frightened.
[00:31:58] And that also translates into your dreams. Here's an example. As an entrepreneur, we realize we don't fit in, but how many times, and for anyone watching or listening to this, how many times have you, the listener, sat in your coffee bar, sat in a bar, sadly sat at a family event like Christmas, birthday, or something like that, and you are chatting with everyone and everything is going well, and you talk about the business that you are in, and you're talking about how you wanna scale it, and then you're gonna franchise that element, and then you're gonna move into this, and then you're gonna write a book on it.[00:32:35] And you look around everyone around you and they're looking at you like you've just been, you know, taken over by an alien. Mm-hmm. And they're like, whoa. Where he's gone Mad. He's gone crazy. And you see that it's like a deer in headlights and you suddenly realize that everyone's staring at you and all of a sudden you are faced with only two opportunities.[00:32:55] One walk outta that room, which you don't do. So what do you do? You go, oh, excuse me. I dunno what I was thinking. Someone must have spiked me. Trifold, I was having a crazy moment. And you dilute your dreams and aspirations.
[00:33:13] Travis Chappell: Yeah. You become a lesser version of yourself.
[00:33:16] Steve Sims: You do. But who do we admire today?[00:33:21] Elon Musk, Larry Page, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, Walt Disney. Every single one of these people. we're publicly mocked. Elon's mocked on a daily basis, but he's ridiculed. Mm-hmm. But we admire you, you've got to be in a position today where you wanna make sure you go for stupid goals, and I'll play a little game with it.[00:33:47] Did you drive, have you got a car or something? Mm-hmm. What car did you get? I have [
00:33:52] Travis Chappell: a 2015 Toyota Camry.
[00:33:55] Steve Sims: Camry. What is that? An SUV? V no, it's a sedan. Oh. Oh, it's a sedan? Yeah. Okay. So, it's a car. Just a car. I ride bikes, so I don't know shit. Yeah. All right. Do you want a truck? Yes. Do you want a truck? Do you want a truck?[00:34:06] Tundra. Do you want a tundra? No, I have a tundra. Oh, you have a, yeah, yeah, yeah. Both. Yeah. So, do you want a new truck? Sure. Yeah. Yes. What would it be? Probably
[00:34:14] Travis Chappell: tundra. Just the newer, updated version of the Tundra. Yeah.
[00:34:16] Steve Sims: All right, cool. All right. What about the Elon Musk tester truck? Oh, oh yeah.[00:34:21] I'll take one of those. Cyber truck. Yeah, the cyber truck. That was what it was called. Yep. Do you remember seeing it being unveiled? Yes. Right. Okay. The entire planet watched that. Yeah. Now I've used this example on other podcasts. I was doing a podcast the other week in which I did an Australian and I did a Korean one, and I, both of these people said yes.[00:34:40] The girl in Korea that podcasts me, said, we have push bikes. We don't have cars in the family. She said, but I saw the cyber truck being unveiled. So Elon grabbed the attention of the planet with this cyber truck. Let's be blunt. It's kind of a weird-looking thing, isn't it? It is. Apart from the fact that it has round wheels, it doesn't have anything else similar to the tundra truck.[00:35:08] Right, right. Okay. Different drive, trade, different looks, different composites, everything. He then put up jewelry, the unveiling, the chance for you to buy a slot. A pre-slot for, getting a cyber truck in the future, which I think they've only just started going into construction
[00:35:24] Travis Chappell: ever. Me? Yeah. I've, I haven't seen any on the street for sure.[00:35:27] I think they're still in pre-production.
[00:35:29] Steve Sims: Yet, during that unveiling, every single slot got sold out. So let's break that down for the world of entrepreneurs, he gained the attention of the planet regardless of where you were, regardless of whether or not you even wanted to buy a truck, he grabbed your attention.[00:35:46] Yeah. He then sold out every single opportunity to purchase something before he even built a factory to build what he sold. Okay. Is this good stuff? Yeah. What entrepreneur would not like to be in a position where they sold out every package before they made it? Before they made it, what were the headlines The following day?
[00:36:11] Travis Chappell: Yeah. The cyber truck didn't hold up when he did the window test or whatever
[00:36:15] Steve Sims: the window. Yeah. So every single headline mocked him. Yeah. For this, the Bulletproof Glass didn't work. Yeah. Now, let's be blunt, if Bulletproof Glass is one of the specifics you need when buying a new truck, you have bigger problems.[00:36:30] Yeah. Right. Okay. But that was the news. Society didn't leave him to build something just weirdly different.
[00:36:39] Travis Chappell: Elon Musk sells out a futuristic truck in the afternoon. Yeah.
[00:36:44] Steve Sims: Elon Musk sells out everything in a two-hour webinar before
[00:36:48] Travis Chappell: being built.
[00:36:49] Steve Sims: Yeah. No, we had to take the piss. Right. Society has moved into an amplified, cancerous, yeah.[00:36:58] Toxic environment where anyone that wants to stand up and stand out is there to be ridiculed. But all the superstars today that we would change places within a heartbeat, Jeff Bezos, Larry Page, ELAM Musk, all of these people. They're not listening, they don't care. Right. Elon Musk once said to me when we were walking through SpaceX, they will always laugh at you just before they applaud.[00:37:22] And it aggravated me. I wondered if the problem with today's society was the news because let's be serious, we assassinated the news during Covid, didn't we? Mm-hmm. fake news. Everything's fake, fake, fake, fake all the time. We've just got more news today. Yeah. We were shitheads back then. Henry Ford, do you know, they actually protested against Henry Ford?[00:37:45] Yeah. And the reason they protested against him was that that car couldn't go through the woods as the horse did. Yeah. And Ford's very famous quote, if I listen to the people, I'd have made a faster horse. Right. You know, but you can't listen to those people that don't know. You've gotta be willing to stand up.[00:38:03] You've gotta be willing to be laughed at. You've gotta go for such an audacious goal. Then it will be ridiculed. And when people are ready to laugh at you, then you know you are on the right path. Yeah. And I thought, just imagine a world where we actually supported ridiculous goals and we are actually terrified of telling people our ridiculous goals.[00:38:25] Yeah. So anyway, I started doing the blog, started doing the memes, ended up going into a book, and I thought, again, I've got a nine-day week here. Yeah. I ain't going anywhere I wander. And so I literally went outta a few people and I went, look, this is what's bothering me. And I'd like to put a book together to show you how the most powerful people on the planet overcome it.[00:38:49] How I overcame it, how a bricklayer from London can communicate with Elon Musk and the Pope. You know, if I can be doing it, shit, you are already out of excuses. Would you like that book? Would you like to help? And I got a lot of people to say yes, so. I put it out there and it came out in October this year.[00:39:08] Go for Stupid, the art of achieving ridiculous goals and it's doing really, really well. And when I say it's doing really, really well, anyone that's out there thinking that they're gonna buy a mansion on the beach by selling a book, you are wrong. That doesn't happen. But the reason and the benchmark that I believe is doing well is the response and the action people are taking from reading it.[00:39:31] Mm-hmm. And I'm getting people literally contacting me with that stupid goal and I'm loving it. Yeah. Because they're daring the dream and they're like, hang on a minute, I wanna be part of the solution to today's problem and we want more of those solutions.
Part 5[00:39:46] Travis Chappell: Absolutely. You summed it up perfectly talking about the kind of that force of average that's on everybody, you know, the crabs in the bucket of society where it's just, the reason people don't want to support everybody else's goals is cuz they secretly hope that they fail.[00:39:59] Oh yeah. Because it's such a, it's a contrast to their lack of willingness to chase after their stupid goals. Or maybe even their lack of clarity around, you know, what they even want in life. And, and just kinda sinking into me, mediocrity,
[00:40:15] Steve Sims: what are you willing to sell for? Yeah. And are you willing to reduce your standards to meet theirs?[00:40:20] Or do you want to keep your high standards and have them come up? Right. See, the funny thing about standards is when you have high standards, people actually want to live up to your standards. Mm-hmm. I had a friend of mine say that you know, he wanted to change your standards and he didn't have a lot of me.[00:40:35] I said, look, you've gotta start with you. You know, you gotta start with what you are willing to accept. And he always used to go down to the pub and I said, look, I've seen you down the pub. You look like a piece of shit. You look like a homeless person. Mm-hmm. You've gotta start demanding more of yourself. So we started going down the pub and he'd wear a little polo shirt or you know, just a clean pair of jeans and just look a little shiny, a nice pair of shiny sneakers.[00:40:58] some of his mates noticed, and in the early stages, they started germinating. And he said, you know, it only took a month when all of a sudden when we started to get, we looked sharp. Hmm. You know, we actually started, the whole crew started dressing up. The whole crew started like, move up to, here's his standard.[00:41:16] There's always gotta be one. And that's it.
[00:41:18] Travis Chappell: You could be the one, right? You could be the one. And if the other people don't ever level up, then that's when you know you gotta go find some different people in
[00:41:26] Steve Sims: that room. You've done great rooms, you know, you've done masterminds and you've had people in.[00:41:31] And anyone that turns up suddenly realizes that they're always worried cuz they don't fit in. Yeah. And then they realize they were never built to and so when you go to masterminds, and as I say, mean, You go to a lot of masterminds, we go to these because they're Hogwarts. Right. We are the weird kids.[00:41:47] Yep. Exactly. And then you get in that room and you go, do you know I'm not weird enough?
[00:41:52] Travis Chappell: Now, when everybody's connecting on the, the family dinners where they're being mocked, you know, and, and they're, they, you know, everybody's got that same story, man. It's just like, I'm explaining what I want to do and then people are like mom, mine doesn't sound very realistic.[00:42:04] Well, oh, you know, I don't want you to fail. You know, well, you know, you, you had those same goals when you were a kid. You know, just don't, don't get too wrapped up in the final, you know, it's just like there's so much containment. And then when you hang out with people who think the same way that you think, you kind of realize like, it's okay to be this way.[00:42:21] I'll
[00:42:22] Steve Sims: give you my J story. And I've told this story loads of times. [00:42:26] I came up with a business plan for the first time and the only time in my life I've ever done a business plan. Okay. I ever, so I did this business plan, I spent time on it and it had graphs and had pretty pie charts and all this kind of shit in it.[00:42:40] And I was speaking to Jay Abraham and he's a neighbor of mine and a good neighbor to have. And I said, Jake, you need to get involved in this deal with me. It'll make us a fortune very quickly. You need to, yeah. And he's like, well, you know, I'm working on other things, but come on down and share them with me.[00:42:56] Your, your plan. So I went down, I saw Jay and I gave him this presentation and I went through this business plan and it was brilliant. And it adds stats and charts and pictures. It was great. And at the end of it, he just looked at me with his little smirk and he went, is that it? I thought, what's a, what do you mean Jay?[00:43:18] I went, Jay, based on this, we will like X times our money within a month. Yeah. And he just looked at me and he went, well, knowing you, knowing your enthusiasm, your passion, and your connections, I was just expecting a little more and I thought shit, I had literally, as I was building this, I was listening to the wrong people.[00:43:43] Mm-hmm. What we ended up doing was we ended up basically killing that deal, taking about 5% of what was being offered and troubling. What was the outcome gonna be in any case, we knew that we needed a bigger dream to achieve. And you can only do that when you're willing to go big.[00:44:02] Right. I'm not saying. Gamble your house. Sure, sure. On Off Black, because that's not actually action, that's just praying. That's like buying a lot of lottery tickets. Right. But a so-so idea with implementation will always outperform perfection. There's never any action. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I'm a great believer and Avi myself gave me this one.[00:44:26] Get going and then get good. Mm. Yeah. So that was it for me. You've really gotta push yourself. And that's why I like hanging around with weird kids. Yeah. Because we push each other, we realized that you know, we are sitting and we've all had this, I've got family now that I don't mind talking to and I'll tell a few jokes too, but when he gets down to the business, I'll be like, Joey, you know, we can't talk about business.[00:44:51] Yeah. You know, you are in your place. I'm mine. I had a cousin of mine that was starting a new business and I sat him down. I think it was like five or six years ago, I sat him down. I went, okay, let's, let's work. And we mapped it out. And then when I came back from the thing, I'd sent all of this stuff over to one of my team.[00:45:08] They put it into a schedule, and they sent it over to him. And then I said, oh, follow up with him in a month's time. And they did that for three months running and he was busy with other stuff. And then about a year later, I bumped into him again at another family event and I didn't want to have the conversation with him.[00:45:24] Right? He's like, ah, Steve. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I've been so busy with what? Right. Well, this came up. Dad came. Oh great. Okay. So we got the excuses. That's a little bit. He's like, C, can we go out and No, I gave you me. I gave you one of my team. Yep. And I wrote you the plan. For three months you had us, I didn't charge you.[00:45:47] Right. But yeah. And so now you want me to waste more time. What I will do is you pay me. And I actually, I said, you pay me and I'll do it with you. And he was like, you're gonna charge your family. I said, well when I didn't, you did fuck all that. Right, exactly. I'm just hoping that if you put skin in the game now, you'll be willing to do something when you pay.[00:46:09] You pay attention. Exactly. And he obviously didn't, so, and guess what? He didn't pay. He said that I was selfish enough. And he still works for the same person that he worked for back those six years later.
[00:46:23] Travis Chappell: Of course. Of course. That's how it goes.
Part 6
[00:46:26] Travis Chappell: At the end of the day. You can't execute for people.[00:46:29] There you go. One of the worst, honestly, one of the worst parts to me about coaching or running masterminds is that one expectation that people come to. Now, before I work with people, I make sure that they know. I'm like, look, I'm pretty confident in the things that I've learned to date.[00:46:43] And if you execute these things, you will get X results. Yeah. But it's on you to execute these things. Do not come to me four months from now and be like, well, you know, you said I would get these results and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, right. But you have to actually do shit. Yes. , like, I can't do everything for you.[00:47:04] Like, you like the knowledge is, is one part of the equation. Is it an important part? Yeah, it's an important part. And the reason you pay a coach is so you don't have to take 10 years to figure out that knowledge. Yes. You get the knowledge in a couple of months, but the execution is still required.[00:47:17] Yeah. Regardless, like either way, you're still gonna have to do a little bit of work here and there, it makes it so much more difficult with, family or, or close friends or whatever. Because you, you, you want to help you, it's a genuine desire to see people succeed, especially those that are closest to you or people you share blood with.[00:47:34] You just, you just want it, you want them to do well.
And [00:47:36] Steve Sims: That's, and that's sometimes the downside is those ones that are closest to. Usually the ones you can't help. Right. You
[00:47:43] Travis Chappell: Now, and they have this weird, they have this weird dunno if you've experienced this kind of a weird bias when it comes to you because they've known you since you were the kid running around London.[00:47:58] Yeah. Right. Yeah. They know that version of you. Yeah. And so like, in their mind there's almost this, like this aversion to listening to what you have to say because they really, at their core still looks at you as that version of you. Yeah. Even though you've surpassed that, I've definitely experienced that where people that are coming into my world have more immediate respect for me than even people who've known me for a really long time because Oh yeah.[00:48:22] They knew this previous version of me. It was a contest. They can't, yeah, they can't. Exactly. Yeah. There's a little bit of contempt and they can't equate who I was with who I am. But people coming into my world, they're like, this guy's great. Do you know? Yeah. Because they only see who I am. It
[00:48:36] Steve Sims: does happen.[00:48:37] Yeah. But, you can't run in shackles. Right. So you, you've really gotta realize that it is possible for you to outgrow your room mm-hmm. and you've gotta move on. I remember a while back, and I was actually talking about this conversation this morning on the phone. I remember years back I had a bit of money and it wasn't a great deal of money, but for me at the time, I was like, whoa, I'm doing quite well.[00:49:05] And I was thrown an event and I had everyone in that room. The pest guy in there was making like 10 milk. Hmm. You know, and I remember sitting at this table guy, and, and I was just, for some reason I was in a downer. Mm-hmm. not, it wasn't a case of, oh, I, I'm not good enough to be in this room ‘cause it was my event.[00:49:23] Yeah. Okay. So, you know, these people are paying me the right to be at my event. But I was like, oh shit, all of these people are way more successful, so much richer than me. Oh my God. There was this annoyance in me, and there was one of them that I knew very well, so I was a little bit more open. And he said to me, he said, you're a little bit down.[00:49:42] What's up with you? And I went, I work hard, you know, I work damn hard and I'm in this room and you know, I, I don't want this to come across as contempt or, you know. Yeah. Uh, Just feeling resentment. But everyone in this room is far superiorly smarter, more educated, wealthier, and more successful than me. And he just looked and he smoked and he went, well, isn't that the room you want to be in[00:50:06] Shit? Yes, it is. Damnit. Literally, just within a heartbeat, I'm like, this is the room. Right. So when you're in that room of contempt for friends, That's the time you gotta leave those friends. Yeah. And it's a tough one. And there were people out there and there are people still that are on my Facebook feed that I knew that I used to roll around with.[00:50:29] Every now and then there'd be a little snide comment about, oh, I remember when I, when I bought your gas, cuz you couldn't pay for gas to get your bike home. Right. And I'm like, yeah, you did. Yeah. And so, you know, Yeah. Where's he going? But like, there's, there are some boys that, that I still knock every time I'm back in London, there's a couple of boys that I'll always hook up with will go out.[00:50:53] We're Dr. I'll always pay for the bar. And I've told them this, okay, I'm paying for the bar that night. I'm paying for the food. Mm-hmm. because you eat at shitty places and I like good whiskey and I like good food. Yeah. So now that we got this out the way that whenever I'm there I'm paying. , you just make sure you bring inappropriate jokes.[00:51:12] Right. Exactly. Exactly. But there are other boys that won't. Yeah. You know, because they just feel that they can't have a conversation with me. And in fairness, that's fine if you, if you are that way. Right. Fine. Right. Yeah.
[00:51:27] Travis Chappell: There is that kind of the childhood friends that are, that are more almost like brothers than they are just friends of yours or whatever, you know, that it doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter if you were you know, talking to the Pope the day before and Elon Musk the day before that when you show up with them, you're just one of the boys and you just want to hang out, drink some beer, tell some, some inappropriate jokes, and have a good time.[00:51:50] You know? Exactly. And that, that's what I try to tell people too, is like, you know, obviously I'm the, the relationship guy, and so it's just like, yeah. But I, I, there, there's a lot of value in leaving you to know, unhealthier poisonous relationships…But whenever I tell, whenever I give anybody advice around it, it's usually like you don't have to make this decision to cut off people in your life as much as you need to make the decision to go get around better people.[00:52:14] And if you do that more often than you make the decision to go hang out with the other people, then those people are probably not going to want to hang out with you that often. Do you know what I'm saying? [00:52:26] Instead of me saying like, you know, I'm cutting you all off because I need better friends, it's more just like I'm gonna go on purpose, hang out with some of these people and it's like, oh, these people hit me up and say, Hey, let's go drinking on Saturday and I'm at a business event in la Well I can't go drinking with you guys on Saturday cuz I'm at a business event in LA and I'm hanging out with these other people who were talking about all these other goals and dreams and stuff.[00:52:50] Well, the seventh time that happened, these people are gonna just kind of. Maybe not hit you up the next time, you know, it'll, it'll just, it happens naturally as you continue to level yourself up. You know, I, I feel like you don't have to be an asshole [00:53:02] and be like, you know, Nope, you guys are just not good enough for me.[00:53:06] You know, it's more just like I'm, I'm making a decision,
[00:53:10] Steve Sims: but then everyone knows I'm a prank. But you've always been exceptional, and I'll, I'll say this, and you can use this as a sound bite, and for anyone listening to this, [00:53:19] you really are a master of relationships. Thank you. I appreciate that. And I've seen the way that you've always tried to push yourself.[00:53:26] And here, here's the thing that I noticed about you. You've always tried to make sure that you are worthy of the relationship. Mm-hmm. A lot of people get into a relationship because, hey, it benefits me, benefits me to know Elon Musk. It benefits me to know Steve Sims. But you've always come across going, Hey, what can I do?[00:53:44] To make me worthy of this relationship. How can I enhance your, how can I help introduce you to even this dinner series? Yeah. Do you know? Yeah. You are putting it on, you are, you are the hostess with the mostest, but you are making sure that there are people in there that it's gonna grow their relationships.[00:53:59] I already know some of the people coming tonight, but I know that it's gonna enhance Right? My relationship. So you've always been a great conduit of making sure that the relationships that are around you are actually relationships and not connections, not business clowns. Right, right. And there's a lot of people out there and we won't, we won't mention their names, and trust me, I really want to, cuz he's an arse and he knows who he is.[00:54:25] There were people out there that just think they're phenomenal connectors and they really ain't. They just get the business card and think that's, I think I know who you're
[00:54:35] Travis Chappell: talking about, but I, I also won't
[00:54:36] Steve Sims: Say, we won't mention his name. There were too, sadly there are too many of them out there that don't understand.[00:54:43] What a relationship actually
Part 7[00:54:45]
Travis Chappell: is. As you said, there's a huge difference between a relationship and a connection. A relationship is a two-way street. Yeah. You know, the connection is one-way. It's like, I have a connection, it's a transaction. Right? It's like, I'll only approach you if I have a deal if there's something to be done.[00:54:59] It's like, if it's a relationship, it's a, it's a two-way street. There's give and take. And if you don't have any value to offer to high-level relationships, you just don't get to stay around those people. [00:55:10] There are too many opportunities for those people. So you have to come to the table with something.[00:55:14] Steve Sims: And today we are not tolerant again, this is covid Today. We're not tolerant, we're pissed off. We've been sold to, we've been lied to. Yeah. We've been a conspiracy, conspiracy theories up the wazoo. We are annoyed. Mm-hmm. and we see through those flaky, fake people real quick now. Right. And that's a good thing.[00:55:35] Yeah. So, you know, I, I think people, we need to be more transparent. We need to work, relationships have to be worked at. Yeah. You know anyone, I'm sure shit, you've had arguments with your wife. Yep. You know, but isn't that what makes the following day better? Right? Because you learn from it.
[00:55:53] Travis Chappell: And it provides a depth to relationships that can't be replicated with anybody else.[00:55:58] You know what I'm saying? Like if, if you're, if you get, whenever my wife and I have those types of conversations that turn into heated conversations, that turn into arguments, it allows you to get to know that person more than, you know. [00:56:09] There are zero people on this planet that I know as well as her.[00:56:11] And, I'm sure she would say the same thing, but similar to you, we've been together since I was 16. , there's every part of our, adult lives that has been lived together. Yeah. We've experienced the downs, the ups, the roller coasters, and we've had, God knows how many difficult conversations that have made us, and left us both heated, especially cuz we both started our adult lives believing a certain thing about the world.[00:56:34] And now we've come around to a completely different idea in terms of religion and values and morals and everything about us has completely changed in the last decade. Yeah. And to go through that requires many, many sleepless nights, and difficult conversations if you're gonna get through it. But if you get through it on the other end, it's like, well, there's zero other people in my life that I know that well.[00:56:53] And to your point, when we all get together and, and we get to have conversations, we get to hang out or whether it's on, you know, some market in Pettet, in a cowboy. Do you remember that Cowboy bar was set at Cowboy Bar? Yeah. It was the only thing. Wild. Like Yeah. The only thing that looked familiar, was just like, yeah, it was just random. It's just Poquette Street Market, which is a massive street market.[00:57:13] Yeah. But then like in the middle of it was just this cowboy like 10 by 10, like probably from that wall to this chair. Oh yeah. Cowboy bar. And you, me, I think Francisco, somebody else is there. We just sat bullshit for an hour. Had two or three Thai beers and Went back to them, went back to the spot.[00:57:30] But like, regard, like those are the types of things that, that really turn into like, oh, this is a friend of mine rather than like, oh, I met him at an event once. Do you know what I mean? It's just such a massive difference. It's a classic. Classic. It's
[00:57:42] Steve Sims: a classic prairie dog. I don't do networking events.[00:57:45] Yeah. But I remember I went along to this, this networking event, and this, this guy came over to me and he started talking to me and he wanted a business card and I don't have business cards. And so that was him done. He was just trying to get the business card. I thought I don't care about business. Well, do I get hot?[00:58:02] You know, so and so. Oh yeah. Great. And as soon as he got there, he was the next Prairie Dog. Who else is in the room? Yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me, I've gotta get someone to introduce you. And he thought that Yeah. Was the relationship. Well, if you have an empty relationship with that person Yep.[00:58:21] how can they introduce you to somebody? [00:58:23] Because you're coming in cold. , if I turn around as someone I know and I go, you need to speak to Travis. Yeah. Or you, if you, like, you have done, you've gone, you've gotta speak to Steve. They know that there's a reason. Because you value relationships.[00:58:38] But if this person's just doing it as a, as a, you know, collection of business cards Right? It's an empty gesture. Right. And it is read as such. Yeah. You
[00:58:49] Travis Chappell: can't, you can't k p I the relationship. Yeah, absolutely. Do you know? Yeah. Which is hard for some people to understand. Yeah. Okay. [00:58:56] So I wanna talk a little bit more about your book and then we'll get you outta here.[00:58:58] Art of Achieving Ridiculous Goals In To Be, when I saw that you wrote this, I was like, this is such a perfect topic for Steve to cover. There are very few people I think could cover it very well. And you're one of them because of where you came from and because of where you ended up.[00:59:13] And. If there's anything that I've learned about expanding the way that I think it's that everything changes when you start thinking bigger. If you are thinking, how can we increase production by 5% this year, then it's probably by just doing a little bit more of the same that you're currently doing.[00:59:29] But if you're thinking, how can we increase it? 1000% this year, you all of a sudden have to reinvent your business model. You have to reinvent your processes. You have to build technology that's innovative, that allows you to scale at that size. You have to meet somebody very, very important, or you have to, like, there's some, there's a big action that you're going to have to take that you would've never thought about or been forced to think about.[00:59:52] Had you not started with this, an ostentatious goal that seemed completely out of reach for yourself, Part 7
[00:59:59] Travis Chappell: What are, besides that, some kind of side effects or bonuses in your mind that's probably in this book about why it's important to go for these ridiculous goals?
[01:00:09] Steve Sims: Well, for start, the title was one that we came up with probably about 18 years ago.[01:00:14] Okay. It just never had a book attached to it. People used to come to us and used to go, Hey, I, I want to do this. We'd be like, okay, great. We've got the request now. Very similar, the relationships, if I gave them what they asked for, yeah. I've just completed a transaction. and I'm the same as Amazon.[01:00:31] Yeah. You know, no one has a relationship with Amazon. It's a transaction. So we always used to get these requests and we'd go, okay, how can we make this stupid? Yeah. We would never use the word impossible, you know, we would never recognize it. Take that, that's the Voldemort of words. Right. Take it outta your VO vocabulary.[01:00:50] How can I make this laughable?
[01:00:51] Travis Chappell: Yeah. Let's start with the assumption that it is possible
[01:00:54] Steve Sims: bit straight off the bat. Right? And you said about, you know, what you can achieve, what do you know what you can achieve if you've never tried? Right. Right. So we would, and here's the daft thing about stupid goals and kind of what makes them allowed.[01:01:08] You're gonna fail at 99.9% of them. So why not fail 30 times further than where you were going for? Right. See, everyone's gonna turn around and go, oh yeah, I want this outta my life. It's that 5% if I just crank this wheel a little bit. Right. I'm gonna if you want to make it. a hundred thousand dollars a month, go for 500.[01:01:31] you know, build a plan to achieve that. Five, build the systems that will achieve that. Five, get the team in place that will achieve that five, and fail and make three 50 every time I've gone for something. The story about Belli. Okay. I had a guy that wanted an amazing dining experience.[01:01:51] I could have gone on the Italian version of OpenTable, picked up a major Michelin star restaurant, and then contacted him and got the chef to pop out and go, you know, it's so good to see you this evening. Please take a visit to my kitchen. And I'd have been happy with that. Yeah.
[01:02:06] Travis Chappell: Because it was, that was all he asked for was an amazing dining space.[01:02:08] [01:02:09] Steve Sims: dining experience. Wow. Okay. That was it. I went there and I went, okay, what's the stupidest thing I can do with this? And if you're gonna do something in Paris, Where is obviously the most Parisian place on the planet that can only be in Paris? Eiffel Tower. Bingo. All right, so we thought, what is the Eiffel Tower of Florence?[01:02:29] Now, your Fu Galleria has loads of artwork that if you don't know about art, could be Amsterdam, could be Poland, could be London. Mm-hmm. could be France, but the only thing that makes Florence, Florence is David. Mm-hmm. Michelangelo's David. The only piece of Michelangelo's work outside of Rome is housed in the academia, the Galleria in Florence.[01:02:53] Okay. The idea of having dinner at the feet of the most famous statue in the world is a stupid goal. , there's one to go for. Okay. The DF thing is when you keep going for stupid goals, you start getting them. Yeah, right. We got it. And I literally went back to my hotel room and I was standing at the Sevo and I was like, shit.[01:03:18] Yeah. Because I literally was thinking, well, when they say no, then I'll start with some backups. Sure. But they said yes, because I had literally, it'd become a habit of me asking for ridiculous goals. Right. That I started to get people to go, whoa. Well if he's asking, he must know what he's doing. Right. He must so we'll give it to him.[01:03:41] Yeah. And he gave it to me. So I remember sitting there and I phoned up Claire, my wife, back here in la and I went, do you remember I said to you that stupid thing? I was, oh, yeah. And she actually said to me, so where are you gonna try next? Yeah. How
[01:03:53] Travis Chappell: colossal was the failure. Yeah. Yeah. She said, where?
[01:03:56] Steve Sims: Where are you gonna try next?[01:03:57] I went, no. That. He said, yes. Treat it really great. Yeah. She said that's brilliant. And of course entrepreneurs, I went, but how can I make it better? Yeah. She's like, hang on a minute. You got the place you wanted? Yeah, I did. But I got it two days before the dinner. How can I make it bigger? Yeah. And of course when you think of the, like if, if you think of Italy, the most famous person in Italy, the Pope doesn't tend to do a lot of singing gigs, and the most, the most famous Italian singer, pav Roddy, when he doesn't get out much now since he died years ago,[01:04:37] So the maestro himself, Andrea Belli. Yeah. And I remember contacting someone I knew in LA in the music industry. They gave me his agent in London. And when I said, I want Andrea Belli to come to my dinner party and Seren said to my clients while they were eating, he turned around and he said, sounds quiet, I'll get back to you.[01:04:57] Hung up. He never took my phone number. [01:04:59] So I knew I wasn't getting a callback. So then I'd already been working with some other people in Italy. I contacted him and I went, do you know who I'm? And they went, yeah, we do. And I had a phone, enough people mm-hmm. That one of them said, yeah, I do. And I went, this is my stupid, over-the-top dining experience that can only be completed with the maestro himself.[01:05:19] Yeah. I got a call back from Veronica Elli herself. Oh, no way. She went, it's in two days’ time. And do you know, the funny thing was now of course there's always a payment that's gotta be paid. Of course. You know, and once we'd all agreed on everything, I suddenly realized that America wasn't open. So for me to transfer the money, I was gonna have to wait for the following morning.[01:05:42] And then once they initiated it, it wouldn't land until the following morning, which is the morning after I need him. And I didn't have a credit card big enough for that balance. Yeah, right. So I contacted her and I just realized you're not gonna get the money until the following. See God, they gotta trust me.[01:06:02] Right. And she said something that really made me feel good. She said, Based on who called me. That's something we can trust you with. Hmm. And I suddenly realized it wasn't the money, it was that relationship. Yeah. Because of who had called her. They had, and my standing joke was, I had Belli on credit for the night[01:06:21] So, but it was all to do with relationships. Everything I had got, yeah. I had got based on relationships. Mm-hmm. ,
[01:06:28] Travis Chappell: That's, that's insane, man. I think that's why that story gets brought up so much cuz it's like the pinnacle of everything that you talk about, which is, let's start with something crazy and then let's go crazier and let's see if we can do all of it, you know?[01:06:42] And sometimes you fall flat, but like, to your point, it's like if you're gonna take 10 swings, you know that nine of 'em are gonna fall flat. At least the last one is gonna be awesome. , you know, like what I, what I've found in a lesser example, but the similar principle is like getting guests for my podcast and stuff like that.[01:07:01] A lot of times it's easier to get the biggest people than it is to get the medium-level people because the biggest people looking at everybody down here are about the same as them. You know what, you know what I'm saying? Like, if they're up here in terms of status, stature, influence, money, they don't need anything from anybody.[01:07:21] They truly are in a fuck you position in life then like they're not worried if they do something that's for this person or they do something for this person, they, it's all the same to them. Yeah. It all exists in the same ecosystem. Whereas this person is worried about helping this person cuz they don't wanna look too bad at this person.[01:07:37] So they say no. Do you know what I mean? You just like, if I'm gonna take the swings, I'm gonna take the swings, you know, and that's, that's all, it never ceases to surprise me. The type and quality of people that are just like, yeah, sure, I'll do it. You know, just because you're willing to go for the ask.
[01:07:54] Steve Sims: It's the classic failure syndrome, you know, it. , [01:07:57] If you know you are gonna succeed, how many times does it matter that you failed? Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, because you've only got to succeed at anything once. Right. Again, let's pick on Elon Musk. You've seen those rockets that used to come off at the side, the gas tanks basically off the rocket, and then they would land on the floating platform, tip over, and explode.[01:08:20] Mm-hmm. , Do you remember seeing those? Mm-hmm. [01:08:22] Everyone did Because it made the news. When was the last time you saw it? I don't know. It's been a while. It's been a while. Cuz it hasn't failed. Yeah. So it doesn't make the news anymore, right? As soon as he, I remember when, and I was, you know, rolling around SpaceX when these conversations were happening, but they realized the most expensive, or one of the most expensive things of a rocket was the fact that these massive great fuel cells would end up getting into space and then just become space debris.[01:08:50] Hmm. If we could get 'em back, fill 'em up, send them back up again. reusable gas tanks Whoa. Saved billions. Hmm. But they would go from outer space and land on a floating pad in the middle of the ocean. That in itself is miraculous. Right? Right. But then the gyroscope wouldn't work and fall over and it would explode and everyone would mock him.[01:09:16] Oh, billions of dollars are gone. He only had to get it once. Right? Mm-hmm. , you've never seen it since, right? Yep. The fact is a lot of people look at failure as a bad thing. I walked into a party up in London and I won't mention his name cuz he's very famous, and we walked into this party, we'd gone up in the elevator, doors opened up, we walked out, and he looked around the room and he went, excellent.[01:09:41] It's a room full of failure. And I was like, and some of the people in this room were like major influencers, evidently,
[01:09:48] Travis Chappell: like not failures. Yeah.
[01:09:50] Steve Sims: By definitely some of the most successful, powerful people on the planet. Yeah. They, if I named a few of them, he would like, yep, yep, yep. And I was like, shit, that's a bit rude.[01:10:00] Bit arrogant. And he looked at me and he went, no, no, no. You get it wrong, Steve. Yeah. Yeah. This room is a room full of failures. They don't care. They keep going. And it was him that he turned around and he gave me the line that I use a million times. [01:10:13] He said they used failure to refine them, not define them.[01:10:19] Hmm. [01:10:20] And every single person on the planet has gone through a series of fa How many times have you fucked up and failed in your life? Dozens. Not enough. , you are gonna keep going. Right. And I am a serial failure. I live very well now. Yeah. You know I gotta worry about it. , you know, paying the mortgage or keeping the lights, I ain't gotta worry about that shit.[01:10:41] Mm-hmm. But if I'm the exact same person this time next year, I would've wasted 12 months without trying. Hmm. I have to try things. Yeah. I wanna fail at things so I can go, ah, that's how it works. Yeah. Right. And then you try again. It works. And you go. Great. Well, so the next thing I can screw up. Mm-hmm. So I think failure should be invited.[01:11:03] That's where the education is.
[01:11:05] Travis Chappell: Steve is I mean, every time we talk I'm just like, we could just keep talking and talking. So I'll have to cut it off now because we're getting together in a couple of hours from now anyway, with the other, there's a drink to be consumed, there are drinks to be consumed, there's food to be consumed and lots of good conversation, everything.[01:11:20] So thanks again for coming on the show. If you have not yet, pick up a copy of Go For Stupid Steve's most recent book and then and then Bluefishing as well. It is still a great one. It's sold lots and lots of copies translated into. Dozen plus languages, something like that. There are nine languages or something.[01:11:36] Yep, yep, yep. Which is, which is incredible, man. So thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for always being a good friend and looking forward to tonight.