Dane Cook (0s): Who I was in 2005 to who I was in 2015 was just like a metamorphosis. And the only way I would've gotten there is by being like destroyed. I hope people can understand this 'cause it's hardcore to talk about it, but it was very funny, like that kind of depression and that kind of like grieving and to be like, ah, I'm a very sad, rich person. You know, like, everybody feel bad for me, imo, emotionally I'm busted out. But like I'm doing well.
Travis Chappell (31s): Welcome, back to the show. I'm Travis Chappell. And I believe that if you can connect with the best, you can become the best So. after creating 800 podcast episodes about building your network, I've come to realize that networking is really just making friends if you doing it the right way. Anyway, join me as I. make friends with world class athletes like Shaquille O'Neal, entertainers like Rob, Dyrdeck,  authors like Dr, Nicole, Lapera, former presidents like Vicente Fox, or even the occasional FBI hostage negotiator, billionaire, real estate mogul or polarizing political figures. So. if you want to make more friends that help you become a better version of yourself, then subscribe to the show and keep on listening because this is Travis Makes Friends.
Dane Cook (1m 7s): I do this thing and I always fuck up where I start talking before you've had a chance to do your initial whatever it is that you do. Yeah. So I'm gonna say nothing and I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy for a second and, and not to try to take over the entire thing. So Travis, it's a it's all on you. Well, we've
Travis Chappell (1m 22s): Already started now, so
Dane Cook (1m 23s): Now we're it, I don't even get an introduction at this point 'cause I fucked it up.
Travis Chappell (1m 27s): All right. No, I'll, I'll do, I'll do an official one. What's everybody? Welcome back to the Travis Makes Friends podcast. Today I have the absolute pleasure of making friends with the one, the only legendary DANE COOK. What's up dude? What? What's
Dane Cook (1m 39s): Going on Trav? How you doing man? Doing
Travis Chappell (1m 40s): Doing well, man. Doing well.
Dane Cook (1m 41s): I feel like we're already friends. Just from the DMM conversation. Scheduling, right? From scheduling and back channel conversations. I kind of feel like we have history. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (1m 50s): I was looking at it, I think it was like November of last year or something. Yeah. The first time we were like, Hey, is there a chance that we can do this?
Dane Cook (1m 57s): You know it's time to get together, When. you have to scroll back for something and you gotta go like this.
Travis Chappell (2m 2s): Yeah.
Dane Cook (2m 3s): I'm like, wait, where is Travis? And I start, oh, there it is. Okay. Got it. Well, it's good to finally be here. Yeah, dude,
Travis Chappell (2m 8s): I, I appreciate you taking the time. I know you got a bunch of stuff going on, which I'm super excited to talk about.
Dane Cook (2m 12s): Of course. And you, you've completely thrown off my entire schedule, Travis. What the fuck. You're welcome. Yeah. That's what friends do, right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Pull each other on the schedule for that miscellaneous bullshit. That's why You know you're friends. Hey man, I need you to help me storage today. Only get to
Travis Chappell (2m 25s): The studio. Well, dude, look, I I I've, it's so weird, When, you meet people that you've been watching for decades because
Dane Cook (2m 33s): It's crazy to be saying, I've done something that people watch for decades.
Travis Chappell (2m 37s): I Didn't even realize it until you were, you were kind enough to give me and a couple buddies tickets to the, the show at the Laugh Factory a couple nights ago. And you got up there and you're like, I've been doing this for 32 years. And I was like, holy shit.
Dane Cook (2m 47s): I know, right? Like,
Travis Chappell (2m 48s): That makes me feel old. So I assume that it could only make you feel that way as Well.
Dane Cook (2m 53s): It, okay. So there's a weird Benjamin Buttons thing with me where I felt very old when I was younger. Like from 15 to 22, I realized I'd spent way too much time, like trying to handle my household,
Travis Chappell (3m 7s): Being
Dane Cook (3m 7s): Grown up things with my mom and being like almost in away the dad of the family. Yeah. And so I hit 30 and was like, oh, I was way too serious. Yeah. So as I've enjoyed this career longer, I think I, I think it kind of put me in some kind of reverse mode, where now 32 years later I'm like, I'm enjoying it. Like it's that first run. So Yeah. For a lot of reasons it's, it's kind of bonkers, but I'm having the time in my life. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (3m 32s): You know what's crazy to me, man is like, I was realizing that recently that you have never drank, never done drugs. That is true. And that's, is that some sort of a factor of your, of your dad or, or really your whole family in Boston kind of like abusing alcohol or,
Dane Cook (3m 46s): Well, certainly When, you grow up You know the neighborhood we grew up in a lot of Irish Catholic, a lot of imbibing. Yeah. Certainly a lot of summer nights where you would hear two things Uproarious laughter and two people like bitching at each other about something that seems so minutiae and miscellaneous. But as I think my, my dad once said, I got a real barn burner going on over here, and it would You know the guth rows were fucking going at it. I think for me, this has been something in my own therapy over the years, I've, I've tried to understand. 'cause a lot of people go, well, your dad drank and you saw his misgivings and did that make you Sure? I think to some extent my mom was always like, Hey, be the best parts of your dad and You know. Just know that getting s sozzled every night is probably not gonna help.
Dane Cook (4m 29s): But I, I'd actually like to think it was more, I had a really good friend in junior high school, my best friend to this day, his name's Al Al del Benny. And Al was like kind of the school You know he was the one who met everybody in the woods before school when they got hammered. And, and I remember in like eighth or ninth grade al like turning to me one day and being like, you don't need this. I need this. Hmm. And it was a weird thing, interest thing. It made like a, it made an impact on me. And I realized like, okay, he was giving me permission like I to, to hang with all of us. You don't need to do this to fit in. Yeah. I need it. 'cause I'm nervous and I'm, and he was really honest with me. It was like this very like unorthodox. Sure.
Travis Chappell (5m 7s): Well, coming
Dane Cook (5m 9s): A age moment, You
Travis Chappell (5m 10s): Know Right. When you're 13 You
Dane Cook (5m 11s): Know. Yeah. But it was like the brotherhood of the Traveling Pants sequel happening right there. But, but truly it was that it, it was almost like something in that gave me a modicum of do I need that to enjoy life? Sure. And it certainly wasn't a plan to do it forever, but I was like, let's see if I can go through these formative years where I already was dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety and dealing with alcoholism at home. Like, yeah. Maybe it's not something that I need to partake in. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (5m 37s): Well I mean it's obviously not just because your dad was that way. 'cause a lot of people just follow the pattern of what happened before them. Sure. Instead of going the opposite way. Right. So there's, there's some combination of
Dane Cook (5m 47s): Factors that Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff too. I like, I've always kind of enjoyed being a, a disruptor and, and that even probably means just like, okay, if everybody's playing the game like this, I'd like to do You know whether that's a good thing or bad. It's always just kind of been my version of, let me see if there's a different way to do what the gang is doing. It's, and by the way, that sounds, it sounds glamorous to kind of put it like that, but it was also in my own need to be Isolated and by myself. Yeah. 'cause of anxiety. It was probably like, if I do it differently, I also don't need to put myself out there with everybody as much. Sure. Yeah. So it's like a two-hander.
Travis Chappell (6m 23s): Well it's certainly more unique considering the career field. Right. It's like, it's not like you're a pastier and you're like, I swore off drinking and drugs so that I can preach the word You. know what I mean? The devil
Dane Cook (6m 33s): Serum.
Travis Chappell (6m 34s): Yeah.
Dane Cook (6m 35s): I no longer I vibe. Right. No, I was in, I was surrounded by it because the job I picked was everybody was You know glug glug. That's
Travis Chappell (6m 43s): Part of the snorting something. Right.
Dane Cook (6m 44s): I mean. Oh, totally. That era you were coming out of the Boston era, like cocaine built the eighties comedy machine. So I came into it when the era was quite literally people saying, how do you wanna get paid tonight? The Coke or the money. Really? Oh yeah. That was, that was like all the guys around me. And so of course I was like, I'll take the cash. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (7m 3s): I would like to eat food. Small
Dane Cook (7m 4s): Bills possibly. Please. I'm gonna stop at BK lounge on the way home and get a whopper. No, it was, it was really like me, I think early in my career, just making that one of my first strong decisions, which was I I'm gonna take this very seriously. Yeah. And I think that means not partying at night, but going home and studying and figuring out how to become a better comic. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (7m 23s): Which you obviously did. It was funny. I was doing some research before this. So yesterday watched a couple of your specials. It was, the juxtaposition was very interesting. 'cause in the last bit in Above It All Right. You talk about this horrible experience where you were, it was like the only time you ever considered quitting comedy. True. And it was a terrible,
Dane Cook (7m 43s): Terrible bomb. A terrible humiliation.
Travis Chappell (7m 45s): And driving all the way down to Florida, Florida, Florida
Dane Cook (7m 47s): For yeah. To be just like, get my ass handed
Travis Chappell (7m 50s): To stand on a hot dog stand and have hot dogs thrown at
Dane Cook (7m 52s): You. Hot stand the people throwing fucking food at me and just, yeah. It was just went from bad to worse to fucking brutal. To my God, this is awful to fuck. Why am I doing this? Yeah. That was like the levels of the seven levels of grief. Yeah. Were like, it sounded like high notes to
Travis Chappell (8m 8s): Me at that point. But it happened in an hour, not over six months. It really did condensed. It really did into a crazy experience. Yeah. That made you reconsider everything essentially.
Dane Cook (8m 16s): It was a lot of things You know that you, you see throughout a career was happening in a consolidated road trip moment.
Travis Chappell (8m 23s): But, but then we, so we watched that one first. Okay. And then we turned on Vicious Circle. Okay. And so it was really interesting watching you tell that story, which you can see like the pain that you felt in that moment. Right. And you clean it up with a, with a great punchline at the end of the joke. I don't wanna ruin it if anybody's not listen or hasn't seen it, but, but go watch Above It All. But,
Dane Cook (8m 40s): But You know what's funny. It's, it's, it's interesting 'cause it's a punchline, but at the same time, it's probably one of the most, I worked on the bit a lot and it was like my goal there was like something that's a punchline, but but also very different from a traditional punchline, which is like, can it be funny? But have like all of the truth that I felt in that moment
Travis Chappell (8m 59s): Exa and you could see it in your eyes when you're telling the story because it's an obvious, like pain point of a moment where it's like, it's like we talked about, it's, it's severe accumulated rejection, just like hosed over you like a fire hydrant in that moment.
Dane Cook (9m 13s): Yeah. I think, I think to understand comedy, people don't realize that you never get over the moment when people don't like you. It doesn't matter how big the arena is. Yeah. Your best pitch is a pitcher and then your worst loss leads to for the rest of your life going, I need to be as good as that pitch. And that's it. Hmm. And it's kind of like a Vicious Circle. No. It's kind of like one of those things where you, you're, you're constantly, and the only way to really, I think like fucking to break through that is to lean into your creative evolution and know, as long as I'm not trying to throw that pitch again, I'm trying to throw a new pitch or I'm trying to look, that keeps you, I think enticed and creative, engaged and happy and creative.
Dane Cook (10m 2s): Engaged. Yeah. And When, you see a lot of people go like, hit a real, like, like what happened to that person? Right. I think what you're witnessing a lot of times people don't maybe understand in comedy, in music, You know in the arts is like, that's a person that can't handle that. They have to let everything go and they have to start again and do what they did before in a new way. Only
Travis Chappell (10m 22s): As good as your last at bat You know
Dane Cook (10m 23s): They have to, we we have to. Otherwise it's like, yeah. It, it can be like, the winters are colder. Right. Like really, it's like the road is longer when you're out there just trying to recapture something as opposed to planting a new You know seed. A new, a new goal.
Travis Chappell (10m 39s): So watching that moment Yeah. Unfold. Then we turn on Vicious Circle and now you're walking into like, like thinking about you in that car on the road trip, leaving Florida, heading back to New York thinking, why am I doing this? I need to quit. And then watching you enter the stadium in Vicious Circle Right. With tens of thousands of screaming fans and stuff like that in Boston. Yeah. Yeah. It was just, it was it like watching it back to back like that was just like a holy shit. Right. You know. Like what a cool, cool moment That must have been.
Dane Cook (11m 7s): It was because there wasn't like a bunch of arena tours going on with comics. Yeah. I mean it really wasn't almost zero. Yeah. It it wasn't, it wasn't even like, there wasn't even really a business presentation for that for, for the most part. Yeah. So we really were doing something that not sense You know Dyson, Steve Martin. Yeah. Yeah. That anybody had done up to that point. So to be able to capture it with Marty Conner, who also directed all I was
Travis Chappell (11m 31s): Gonna say, same director. That's cool. So I was gonna say what, what, tell me about that relationship. Like how, how long have you guys been working together and Yeah. What's, what's come out of that that's positive affected you?
Dane Cook (11m 39s): Oh man. Well, I mean I've covered this territory so I won't like bore you with like the, the backstory of Marty. But I wanted to work with Marty since I was 11. Oh really? And so yeah. So when I finally got the opportunity to talk to him about Vicious Circle and tell him You know the grand scheme, he was super excited, super gung-ho and helped me to realize it. But also he put me on the map. I mean my thing was an idea that I knew I was leading up to, but if he wasn't behind the camera and hadn't worked with some of the people that I grew up loving and, and wanting to emulate it, I wouldn't be sitting here today without Marty coll her. So Marty put me on the map there and then Marty gave me permission when we did Isolated Incident a few years later, the goal of that was to be very intimate and one shot, not 18 cameras in Boston Garden, it was one realtime 58 minute with no cuts to do that with Marty.
Dane Cook (12m 36s): And then all these years later be able to do the third You know go around with him with Above It All. It was like, I felt safer in taking some chances in my comedy kind of evolution and You know, taking some swings in places or putting myself obviously on my front porch or in a small club after people had seen Madison Square Garden in Boston Garden. Right. And they have a certain perspective of what you should be sure to be in their eyes, You know the, the successful comic or whatever it might be. And Marty was really about like, ah, fuck all that. Yeah. It's just about like, how do you wanna present this routine You know and let's build around that.
Dane Cook (13m 16s): So my relationship with him has been game changing. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (13m 20s): Besides him, are there other people in your life that have acted almost as mentors who've put you on or helped you out throughout the years?
Dane Cook (13m 28s): Probably some of them not even realizing just You know people that I've seen from afar or people that I've gotten to know that they probably don't even realize that they're unofficial some of the intel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But, but as far as like, just go-to like who would I call? I had a couple people over the years that were industry, legendary industry people like a Jerry Lewis who became in some ways almost like a father figure to me. Yeah. And definitely a mentor. And that was the guy that had done so much globally through his whole career, but in particular his 10 years of like peak power, they call it like nobody to this day.
Dane Cook (14m 8s): Like the Biebers and the any comic, nobody's touched it. Nobody's You know the Chappelle's. Nobody's near what Jerry Lewis did in that time. You know you'd turn on the TV to see Jerry Lewis at night and there was only 65 million people watching the show that night. You know this is when those were the numbers for somebody like Dean Jerry or when there television channels. Crazy. So to have somebody like him who it was almost like my stuff was so small for Rise compared to like, yeah. You know, producer, director, You know, he was a technical, he You know he built tech. He, the guy was just a, he was a genius. Mm. Yeah. And so to have somebody like him to go to when I was having an off day or, or feeling like I was You know I'm not feeling relevant and yeah.
Dane Cook (14m 51s): Ah, You know, I'm not sure. And I don't like what I'm writing and I don't like me or to have him. I had mentors over the years that are not in the arts, not in the business. Sure. But for the most part, I, I'd say until he passed away, Jerry was like my go-to guy.
Travis Chappell (15m 4s): Now, is there anybody that you feel like you've kind of been able to step into that role for? Like, like people up and coming that you're like, You know what I, I like, I like this kid. Like they, they're
Dane Cook (15m 13s): Doing good stuff. Yeah. I, I do. I feel like there's You know, when I realized I was the old bull on the hill, it was like when comics were starting to come to me and be like, You know to hear somebody be like, I saw your first comedy when I was like eight. And I'm like, or they'd be like, Hey, I saw You know Employee of the Month and yeah, this is my first time seeing you do standup. But really the engagement of through using, using social media and being able to like yeah. Mentor even from a distance and kind of watch people. And some people hit me up and say, I got my first this or I got offered a contract from this person. I love helping with legalese. I love helping with keeping your integrity. I love help, I love helping with everything.
Dane Cook (15m 54s): Except one thing which I think any, any good up and coming comic be wary of and be You know, be cognizant of is I don't care to tell you what to do on stage. And I'm, I wouldn't tell you what you should do or what is funny or in terms
Travis Chappell (16m 9s): Of like working out the material. Like You know.
Dane Cook (16m 10s): Nobody should be telling you, ah, you shouldn't say that or do this or do that. If you have, if you're opening for a headlined and comedian who says, Hey You know don't be Blue tonight, that's 'cause you're taking a gig for them, right? Sure. You're like, but I mean just when you're at your gigs. My whole thing is if anybody's trying to stifle you, they probably see you doing something that intimidates them. Hmm. So don't change. Interesting. You know, I don't care if I, I love all kinds of comedy, but You know if somebody came to me and it was something I, I dunno, that wasn't favorable to me in terms of like what I like to enjoy in standup, I still, first thing I would do is say, don't take advice from me or anybody.
Dane Cook (16m 51s): Yeah. That has to do with your comedy. 'cause people tried to do that to me. And if I did some of the things that people really like laid into me on, now I look back at some of my little journal entries and I'm like, so and so that I respect pulled me aside tonight and said, don't do this on stage. And I was like, wow, if you only knew I respect you and for you to say take out the, you shouldn't move around so much. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like, 'cause you don't move around, you think. And so that's my whole thing is You know, being able to mentor and there are comics on the rise and You know Young You know up and coming. Yeah. Actually, not even just up and coming people that are arriving at their moment. Yeah. That I feel like delighted that I get to share in their victory lapper.
Dane Cook (17m 33s): And even sometimes when they're You know fucking like, ugh, I mean I'm in a rutt. And I'm like, okay, good. Now you're really, that's really part of like, what's gonna make it special. The ruts. Yeah. You know. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (17m 44s): Yeah. 'cause you, you, you always had this ability to kind of see the future a little bit in terms of hopping on things that people weren't necessarily on board for or Right. Didn't even understand. Right. Yeah. The,
Dane Cook (17m 55s): The boring shit,
Travis Chappell (17m 55s): The hack for you, the hack, whatever was, was blowing up with MySpace. Sure. And this is a time where it's like people didn't even have, not everybody had an email yet. Right. and now there's this like random social media. It media it
Dane Cook (18m 6s): Was really co college centric I guess you could say at that point. Yeah, yeah. Sure. Because anybody at that time when I'm 27, 28, over 35, like was like, what's email? Yeah. Like did not understand everybody. There were people that actually on my own team that were like You know thought the internet was like a, like a fad.
Travis Chappell (18m 23s): A o l instant messenger.
Dane Cook (18m 25s): Yeah. Like it was gonna be a thing for a little bit. And then we'd all go back to You know the old way of doing it. But now I quickly identified like, oh wow, I'm reaching significant amounts of people Yeah. By hanging on here after my show. So it was like my meet and greet was like a digital realm.
Travis Chappell (18m 40s): Yeah. And now you have stuff You know, You know comics like, like Matt Rife. Yeah. Who blows up with TikTok, which
Dane Cook (18m 46s): Is who I had featuring for me all the way up until Covid. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Travis Chappell (18m 51s): Because that was even pre, like that was before he, he really hit Right.
Dane Cook (18m 55s): Well I mean Matt saw me when he was 15. Yeah. I did an arena gig in his town. Yeah. And he reached out and was like, I want to be a comedian. I said, okay, well When, you graduate high school, come to the Laugh Factory and we'll shoot the shit. I think he came out early with his grandmother. Yeah. And I said, go home, finish school, come back out. And next thing You know, he was I mean. That's somebody who put in the work on their own You know. No. We all could say, oh, I helped give him gigs. But the reality is he did it. I saw one thing bringing him on the road and the way he corresponded with my fans, which he was earning new fans every night. But I remember taking a hike with him one night up at Runyon and just saying, You know, really embrace the online Hmm.
Dane Cook (19m 37s): Element because he was kind of like, I don't wanna be another one of those comics. Yeah. And that he was like, I wanna do it. And it was like, nah man, you should really let people get to know you in that way. So my prediction is next year he's gonna be the lead dog in terms of the face of standup comic.
Travis Chappell (19m 52s): It seems like he's very much on the way if he's not already there. You know. He's
Dane Cook (19m 55s): Got, he's got the pedigree now. He's got the act 12 years of that. He's a great person and
Travis Chappell (20m 1s): That's always good to know. He
Dane Cook (20m 2s): Gets it. You know, he knows the, he knows the love language of the internet. Yeah. Yeah. And he's, and he's doing it. So seeing people like Matt, but now I've got like Drew Dunn who's been on the road with me. I think Drew's gonna have an outstanding career. I You know if I have people that I push my chips in on, it's guys like Matt. Yeah. Guys like Drew. So I do like being able to You know, have that celebratory moment where it's like I'm enjoying three decades of what I do at a high level, three generations of fans coming to see me, but I'm also getting to share my spotlight with people that I think are gonna come into their
Travis Chappell (20m 33s): Moment. Which is so cool, man. I, I, I love watching people succeed, but I love watching people help other people succeed when they're also successful. Yeah. I just love the abundance thought process. Yeah. Rather than that scarcity, there's
Dane Cook (20m 43s): Room for everybody. Yeah. Like for some reason, but not everybody makes room. If you're
Travis Chappell (20m 46s): Successful, then that means I can't be be successful. Oh yeah. It's, well, this doesn't make any
Dane Cook (20m 49s): Sense. It's You know. And I, even myself, when I was coming up, I went through my time of ego, but in intimidation where it was like you could see that people were clamoring for your spot. So that's the only part that, and again, being, being able to kind of fortify people, be a, a mentor in that way. Yeah. Mentor sounds like such a weird world. Like I'm teaching you welding or some shit like that, but to be able to be communicative in the ways
Travis Chappell (21m 12s): Of the force.
Dane Cook (21m 13s): Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It's cool because you go, we're all doing the same thing. Mm. We're just trying to expand our territory. But not everybody is prepared for your moment. Yeah. Like you are because of that You know there's a, there's the perils of the industry, which is you start zeitgeist thing and it only exposing, it ex exposes you to more people that want to come and take you down to peg because Yeah. I don't know, maybe they're not happy where they're at or there's a number of reasons that make people like an official hater fan club. Sure. But nothing outside of my own accomplishments or things that I'm putting together makes me happier than seeing somebody I know put the, the sacrifice of Stan.
Dane Cook (21m 53s): Yes. I know what it is. You see somebody as an overnight success. And I can go, man, I You know Matt was dead broke two years ago. Overnight success. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So to be able to see that, it's like very, it's awesome. It's just really cool to be able to witness that just
Travis Chappell (22m 5s): Overnight in 12 years. Yeah,
Dane Cook (22m 6s): Exactly. Exactly. 12
Travis Chappell (22m 7s): Year overnight. Yeah. Do you think that anybody could be a successful standup comic? Do you think that, I guess what I'm asking is like, is it innate? Is it talent? Is it, it's obviously reps, it's obviously skill, you have to work through material, but is there a certain level of like natural ability that you feel like people have to have? Or is it, can, can anybody do it?
Dane Cook (22m 28s): No, not anybody can do it. I think that, first of all, you have to see the world differently. You have to have your unique perspective. There's not too many comics that you can watch and go You know they're strictly observing a moment. You know. You have to be able to like see something and then go, but here's my slant. Right? Yeah. And so I think that not everybody sees the, it's like some people are analytical and then some people use the other side of their brain and they're just You know. That's one thing. To believe that some people are are born with. It doesn't mean you can't be a great writer or participating in comedy. Sure. But the person that has that buoyancy to take it to like, to some other level, I think that that's a lot of tools, a lot of time put in the 10,000 hours.
Dane Cook (23m 12s): But also Lady Luck. The zeitgeist. Yeah. Is it your time? Are you also prepared for your own success? Have you done the, the personal therapy to go? Because I've seen people that are great and then when their moment comes along, they, they were destructive and they, they really wanted to probably spend more of their life going. I could've. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And they weren't ready to go like I am.
Travis Chappell (23m 35s): Their internal, their internal thermostat brought 'em back down to where they feel
Dane Cook (23m 39s): Like they should be. Yeah. It's hard. That's sad to see. Yeah. And we've seen that a few times over the years with people. But, but no, I definitely think that like any professional athlete or a doctor or scientist, you have to put in the hours to where you make it look effortless. Yeah. You know And a good comic makes it look like they're not a great comic. They're just a person hanging out. Yeah. Doing this with a mic hanging yet you go like, damn. Like I've seen 'em work that piece of material. Right. You know. I had some material four or five years where he'd be like, oh, it's still not as funny in the middle. And what can I do? Or what's the inflection or what's the, maybe I just You know. Maybe it's in the wrong part of my act. Maybe I need to open it with it. Maybe I need to, maybe I need to audience reaction, I need to instigate something.
Dane Cook (24m 21s): If they say it, then they're gonna think that next part is off the top. And then wait, then I'll dovetail it back into the concrete piece of material. Yeah. Don't let 'em see the seams. Maybe let 'em see the seams. Maybe commentary. You know, I've been thinking about this thing, I can't figure it out. Next thing You know the, the crowd is helping you to understand You know their perspective. And then suddenly you're going, oh, that is what's funny about it. It isn't what I, I I'm wrong. Yeah. That's what's funny. I'm wrong. You are. So all these things flipping switches, minority report screens every single night to finally get up there and go, Hey, what's up guys? What's going on? You guys good? Yeah. I was thinking about something You know I was at the beach and then you're not You know, you're, you're on that journey on that story.
Dane Cook (25m 2s): Yeah. And only a few comics on the back going, oh, he is doing the beach bid. We've heard this.
Travis Chappell (25m 7s): Yeah. Right.
Dane Cook (25m 8s): For six years. And then it's so cool when it finally works though and you go, it's kind of like done and ready for public consumption on a Yeah. On a, on a You know, a major, a broader scale. Yeah. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (25m 20s): When you're working through some of the material that you're, that you're coming up with, is this something that, like, do you have like strict writing practices where it's like, I write for whatever every day? Or is it more like I see something, I write it down and then I work it out and then I get on stage and try to find the joke in there somewhere? Or like how intentional or unintentional
Dane Cook (25m 39s): For about the last You know 18 years, it's been more so just improv based on ideas and stories. I've found that I mean I've never written anything down in comedy ever. Hmm. The only time I ever wrote something down is if I did a late night show. And they were like, you need to submit your set list. And even then I found that very difficult. Yeah. Because I don't like formulaic and I start to feel when it's too like by the numbers, I feel very false even immediately. Interesting. Even if it was just like You know. The second time I do a bit and I know I have to start off by saying I was in a car accident and dah, dah, dah. Like, I didn't even wanna say that the same every night I'd be like, I was in a fracks in my car and the next night I'd be like, I was in a vehicular almost.
Dane Cook (26m 28s): I just don't, yeah. I hate formulaic and I hate repeating. So I found that my improv background all the way back at the start of my career, that's where my funniest stuff came from because I felt like I was, you don't have time to, you're not trying anything. You're not being false. You're telling a story in real time. Hmm. And even though there are little tricks and cadences, you start to learn in standup, you start to learn little things that like I know the crowd likes that. Yeah. That's my move when I do that with my hand. Yeah. Subliminally, I knew early in my career there were certain things that, just being from Boston and the way I emphasized something, I remember one night I was like, I don't know, like 20 years old.
Dane Cook (27m 9s): I'm like, I punched this guy in the face and my octave like my, I hit like another tone. Yeah. And they laughed and I was like, I think they laughed because I said something unusual. But I was like, I think the musicality in that moment Sure. Mattered as much that stayed with me for, to this day. Every once in a while, just randomly on stage, I'll be like, and I am fucking mad. And it's that same thing that reminds you Yeah. Of the musicality. And so you learn your little You know tricks and all that. But for me, once I took away having to lean in on the story When, you tell a story at a party and people laugh.
Dane Cook (27m 50s): If you go to another party a month later, you're not trying to tell the story the same way you're trying to tell that story for different people.
Travis Chappell (27m 55s): It's based on who's listening. That's
Dane Cook (27m 57s): Right. Yeah. And you're reacting. And, and so I started building about 18 years ago. My standup was like, I really look at people, I look and sometimes I'll pick one person like yourself. And maybe you, you were pretty close. You were right up front the other night. Yep. And you saw that I'll, I'll pull a couple people in and they're like my anchors. Yeah. And I'm kind of like really looking into your soul at that point because if I see you go like, remember the girl with her arms crossed Yeah. And she wasn't she feeling she wasn't having And and I can look at that and I go like, that's making me feel something. Yeah. That's making me feel something very real. That's what I should be reacting to. Yeah. Not just let me do it the way I did last night. Well, at least you could do this,
Travis Chappell (28m 35s): But the crowd is uncross her fucking arms,
Dane Cook (28m 37s): Right? Yeah. Yeah. Whatever that went like. And then suddenly she funny, she doesn't know what to do. Yeah. And it makes me feel awkward. And now I'm taking the piss outta myself. 'cause I'm like, oh, this girl I'm not funny. Yeah. But everybody else is cracking up. It was the perfect, it was great. Perfect. Kind of a house of cards moment where everything starts to fall apart in together. Yeah. Well 'cause it
Travis Chappell (28m 55s): Was the last, it was the last thing that you did. Like before you walked off stage. That's right. I was sitting almost directly across from her. So I like, if I wasn't purposely looking up at you, like my natural eye line was going directly to her. Right. So I was watching her the whole time and kind of was thinking the same thing. And then When, you called her out on her. I was like, that's hilarious. Yeah. Because it's what people are thinking. It's obviously what you are thinking. She's right in front of you in the front row. Right. You can't help but like see that this
Dane Cook (29m 18s): Person engaged. But it was also so opposite to two couples that Right.
Travis Chappell (29m 21s): On either side of her
Dane Cook (29m 22s): Literally were having like a, they were loving Yes. This engagement, this moment. Yes. They were almost Bouncing that, oh, the
Travis Chappell (29m 30s): Price is right. Guy
Dane Cook (29m 31s): I'm interacting. And so my natural reaction is like, alright, where am I not great? I always am looking for that equalizer. Who I winning right now. Yeah. Is is this one right here. And that's great for everybody because that's letting them know. I I'm very aware. Yeah. When it's not working as well as I'm aware, as when it's working. It's feel good. When you open
Travis Chappell (29m 52s): With the Ladies of the Night joke, ladies
Dane Cook (29m 53s): Of
Travis Chappell (29m 54s): The night. She, she immediately, she immediately was like, no. Like
Dane Cook (29m 57s): She wasn't feeling it when I was talking about the, the, the Boston Ladies of the Night when I used to perform for the, the prostitutes and the pimps. Yeah. Back in the combat zone of Boston. But, but again, that's what you're looking for in comedy You know. Yeah. Even though your fans ultimately will come out and see you, you're not growing if you're not seeing those kinds of reactions and going, all right, I'm doing something very different tonight. Some people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, definitely. You're like, you're, you're in a constant disassemble and reassemble as a comic. Right. And like I said, always looking for that thing where you go, how can I play upon the things that now I know there's some comics. You ever see the comics that like really laugh at themselves a lot? Yeah.
Dane Cook (30m 37s): You know. That's, that's a trick. That's You know. That's Bert Reiser does that all the time. I mean, but Bert, I I would actually say, but Bert is, that is so authentic. I
Travis Chappell (30m 46s): Was gonna say it feels very, very genuine. I
Dane Cook (30m 48s): I, I don't think that's contrived. I think with Bert, that's a gen. I I know Bert a long time. Yeah. He's one of the few that I wouldn't say. But there are other comics where you'll hear them laughing and you're like, they know you're
Travis Chappell (30m 59s): Telling the
Dane Cook (30m 60s): Audience to laugh right now. The crowd knows that It's a conversation even in that moment. But I'm gonna take Bird off the table because I think he's so wholly original. So Yeah. But most people, it's like those little tells those little tricks. Sure. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Or they,
Travis Chappell (31m 13s): They have like an like, they'll, they'll say a joke and I, I kind of catch this with certain people where they're giving a signal that it's okay to laugh. Like, that was the punchline. You may now laugh
Dane Cook (31m 22s): You know. Yeah. I used to watch comics like when I was young and I, I would find all their things. Like, like I could You know a a Dennis Miller would always end a sentence ago. Well, he just, everybody has a little thing
Travis Chappell (31m 35s): Once he Well
Dane Cook (31m 36s): Like Yeah, exactly. Just little things that they do. And the Johnny Carson used to do the thing where he'd go up on his toes. Mm Oh, okay. And that was like time to laugh. Oh, it's subliminal. Yeah. That's the funny part.
Travis Chappell (31m 46s): Exactly. What's the line between, I, I found this conversation fascinating. The line between comedy and philosophy, because I feel like the best comics are ones that don't just get you to laugh, but also get you to like, think about life. There's always like a line, which is one reason why I'm so against the woke culture. Sure. And censorship inside of comedy specifically. Because like I said, comedy is an art form that pushes the envelope, makes you feel a certain way about something. Right. Elicits an emotion and gets you to think about maybe a belief that you have that maybe you shouldn't hold onto too much. True. Or maybe you should hold onto it more. Like what, what, how do you think about those two things?
Travis Chappell (32m 26s): Oh
Dane Cook (32m 26s): Man. This is like, I think of it a lot where it's just like You know comedy has the ability to just fracture darkness and You know. It's, it's a, it's kind of like a, it's like a superpower. You know there's a a way to utilize that as such a, a cauterizing You. know the mechanics of it, the You know this question gets my brain spinning because with woke I feel like You know comedy becomes like gattica. It's really like, oh damn. I don't, I don't want that. I don't want that in life. Yeah. And I certainly don't wanna walk in and feel this benign homogenized manila envelope of a totally standup comedy show. The reality and the hardest part about where we're at right now is When.
Dane Cook (33m 13s): you go into a club and you can vibe somebody You know there's no malice You know it in that room. Yeah. So they can say something that may be out of bounds or whatever. And you can understand there's no evil doers in here. But if you film that and take that excerpt or you take it out of a special and you don't have anything around it context, and you throw it in front of people that are non-fans of that topic, that excerpt suddenly makes you a target. Right. Right. And then they wanna squash you or Cancel you or whatever it might be. So I feel like to be able to walk into a club or a theater and see somebody speak their mind and be adult enough to know if this person talks about death.
Dane Cook (33m 58s): Okay. I've been through it. I went through some real rough shit in my life. I, I understand cancer. I understand there's nothing funny about cancer. But I also know I, I'm ready to laugh at certain things so that cancer doesn't suddenly close me off for the rest of my life. Yeah. Yeah. You know a great comedy show should incite the idea of these bad things. They didn't do it. They're happening anyway. They don't hold it. They already happened. And they're going to continue to happen. And the only thing that any of us in this room can do is laugh at the moment because we are born into a life of constant Tragedy and constant upheaval.
Dane Cook (34m 42s): Yeah. And constant distraction. So it's so strange to be like, who's being so precious about these things? Even though you're maybe not ready for death, you are not ready to laugh at that. Yeah. Walk outta the room. Leave take off. Yeah. But to say, man, you offended me personally and therefore you must go away. Yeah. That means you're not allowed to speak. You're hurting all the other people that were ready to laugh at that moment. Yeah. All the people that were helped by that moment. How fucking selfish of you. Everybody should cater to how I feel about this. Exactly. Yeah. It's so capsizing ridiculous. Damaging. Damaging. And I continue to do just stress to comics coming up and they go, I'm nervous to say what's on my mind.
Dane Cook (35m 24s): I say this, listen, is it your truth? Did the weird thing with the words that you're not supposed to say happen to you. Yeah. Fucking tell the story. That's your story. That's your truth. It comes with words and actions that happen to you. Did you do the story? Did the story happen to you? Are you firsthand? Did it happen to the person that you love? You can talk about all that. Yeah. Are you making it up about that person? 'cause they look different. Don't do that. You shouldn't. I still won't tell you personally. You shouldn't. You're gonna learn that on your own. Sure. But that kind of ignorance to tell a story that isn't yours to tell. That is the place in standup that I feel like there's the, the weakness.
Dane Cook (36m 5s): Hmm. That probably then circumvents into harming other comics. The era of just talking about somebody else's way of life and You know nothing about it. It really doesn't make sense. Sure, sure. It really probably never has. And it is ignorant. Yeah. But everything else is fair fucking game. As long as those words, those things, the, those people that group happened to you. If you're gonna bring me through it and out the other end, like I had a bit years ago that was talking about like all the racism that's carved on a bathroom wall. Now the bit is silly and it's physical, but I'm saying things that were carved on the about black people. Sure. And I'm showing, I'm saying we're laughing, but look at all the ignorance that somebody took the time to carve on a bathroom stall.
Dane Cook (36m 49s): And I like that bit early in my career. 'cause I was like, oh, I'm showing a little bit of like, this is the ignorance that's around us. And we were able to laugh at that. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So for all those reasons, I feel like please continue to support Comic Sing, whatever you think might offend you. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (37m 5s): I remember pretty early on when I was like getting into comedy a little bit more because I grew up, I grew up extremely religious, so I was not allowed to listen to any of your stuff growing up. Oh really? Okay. Yeah. I wasn't allowed to listen to anything with any cussing or I wasn't allowed to watch PG 13 movies, r movies. I wasn't allowed to play games that were rated Teen You know I could only play every one games.
Dane Cook (37m 21s): I grew up in a pirate's den. My mom swore like it was going outta style. And even though there was religion, it was, it's kind of funny the way it's like on the other side it was, we were very cavalier in our, in the way we spoke in our home.
Travis Chappell (37m 31s): Yeah. So I was not allowed to listen any to that stuff. And then I also obviously in turn felt offended when I heard cuss words or interesting. Somebody said, fuck. And I was, I was like, ah. You know. Like I had this internal visceral reaction to Sure. Sure. To those words. And so I remember I was listening to, I think it was Daniel Tosh, who, who was doing routine one time. And he said something about how I would know if you and I would get along if you've ever said, oh, that's just not funny. Or like, you can't make fun of that, or something like that. He was like, then we're not gonna get along because I think that you can make fun of anything. Or like you can find humor in everything. Right. And I remember hearing that because I was offended at some of the stuff that he was saying. You know what I'm saying? So like him saying that I was like, You know, it's actually like a fair point.
Travis Chappell (38m 15s): Yeah. Like what you're saying has no bearing on me. The only bearing that it has on me is me allowing it to have a bearing on me. Right. Is me allowing it to cause something inside of me to be upset or
Dane Cook (38m 27s): Whatever. It's like I think that there, it's the audience's responsibility to be able to look at standup comedy and go, I'm entering into a ring where somebody might throw a punch and I might get hit. Yeah. Yes. I'm in the ring. And that's part of the allure and part of what if it's a good show or a bad show I could get hit. Yep. That's it. And and that's what you've signed up for by going into a club. So to excerpt and then put it online and then have something to say about it is like, wow. That I don't even know. I don't even understand that kind of thing. I don't, I don't, I don't wanna know that person. I don't wanna know anybody who would take an excerpt and say, here's why this person is a terrible human being.
Dane Cook (39m 8s): Absolutely. And then on the,
Travis Chappell (39m 8s): When you've never even met them or spend any time with them, but it
Dane Cook (39m 11s): Didn't even see the act, didn't even read the book. Didn't even, but but then to, but then you're also, and this is probably even more detrimental, it's like if you take a young comic, if you take some of the bullshit I said at 28 that I was just You know. Totally. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (39m 24s): Yeah.
Dane Cook (39m 25s): Trying and trying to figure out where I see the world, my own philosophy, shortcomings, You know over the top attitude idea. If you stunted my growth at that point, I wouldn't have even gotten to a place where I could then opine on my own ignorance. Sure, sure. Which is even better. Right. To see a comic go on. Second thought I was flip their own,
Travis Chappell (39m 46s): I was wrong. Yeah. Right, right.
Dane Cook (39m 47s): I fucked up. 'cause I had relationship stuff growing up that was funny because I was on that side of the relationship. And then as I get older now, now I'm talking about things I'm like, You know, years ago I said A, B, and C. It's funny now because I can look and go. I can't believe I actually thought those things. Yeah. So you're stunting the growth of what could be somebody a, a mastery of standup. Right. Later. Even more so by saying what you just did right now sucks. Yeah. Right. It's like maybe they needed to suck today to be like genius. Well,
Travis Chappell (40m 17s): Not even a mastery of just standup. It's like a mastery of life. That's how you get better at life. Right. Is like receiving new information, changing your mind about it and becoming a more mature, rounded human being. Like it's, it's, it's part if you, if you prevent people from doing that or threaten their livelihood Yeah. Because of something that they said 12 years ago, it's like, who, which one of us is exactly the same person we were 12 years ago? This is, if that's you, I kind of don't wanna hang out with you because like
Dane Cook (40m 39s): This where like the internet has like warp speed. This thing of like, everybody needs to know everything about you now. And if they don't understand something, you have to very quickly explain yourself. Yeah. So you can exist in their realm. Right. And if you don't, then a bunch of people, a mob are gonna get together and go, we don't like the way you live your life. Right. And they're just gonna try to shut your, your brick and mortar down. Right. Your ideas down your, your book club down. Like whatever it is, it's just so cancerous.
Travis Chappell (41m 12s): It's
Dane Cook (41m 12s): So unbelievably perplexing. When, you look at like the lottery pick of life that we get to live and to go, like, how much of it are you gonna spend trying to tell somebody else how not to live their life? Oh my goodness.
Travis Chappell (41m 26s): Terrible. You have too much time on your hands. That's
Dane Cook (41m 28s): A lot of time. Go
Travis Chappell (41m 29s): Do something different,
Dane Cook (41m 29s): Man. That's like You know. Talk about wasted day. Yeah. Right. You know.
Travis Chappell (41m 33s): Right.
Dane Cook (41m 34s): Exactly. But that, even that stuff, it's like, I've been talking about all this even on my You know show lately. And I think the next year of standup after I finished my touring October, November will be You know really exploring some of the places that Yeah. I places I thought I got it right and I clearly didn't. And places where interestingly and where it's been tricky to write but I'm getting it done is like, this is also some places now that I'm a little older without coming off You know too much ego of like where you guys fucked up and don't know really. Me. Sure. Yeah. But I've stood the test of time to actually be able to show you now. And so for all those reasons, I think it kind of speaks to You know where society places you in a certain place.
Dane Cook (42m 18s): 'cause they want you to be a certain thing. They love you as that thing or they love hating you as that thing. Yes. And God forbid you actually vocalize a better idea and makes somebody go, now I have to come back to the table and say I was wrong. And I actually like them. They don't want to get online and Yeah. Everybody everybody gather around. Yeah. Gather around. I like this person now. Yeah. They, they, they'll play that game. That was just one bad, that was my bad day. But You know, stay tuned. We'll see how that set comes together and then we'll see if the internet responds. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (42m 50s): How, how did you feel kind of going through some of that? 'cause you went through I mean When, you think of entertainment career, the ups and the downs that you've experienced Yeah. Are unlike I mean, there's very few other stories that exist that are as similar to like, I I heard you on, I think it was Pete Holmes podcast saying something like rags to riches. Rags to riches type of thing. Right? Yeah. This massive, but it's not just like, like rags, like middle class, blah, blah, blah. And then riches like, oh, I made a few hundred thousand. Right. Like the extreme and then the extreme and then everything in between that happened. It's like you are experiencing the biggest highs of life by selling out stadiums and, and having specials on HBO and stuff. And then during that same time, you lose your mom and your dad.
Travis Chappell (43m 33s): Right. In the same year to cancer. All this stuff happens with your manager then and all this thing You know, money's stolen, all this other stuff that happens and then you're kind of forced to go back and tour and sell stadiums. Yeah. And, and then get back on top. And then
Dane Cook (43m 46s): It tore me down. But it also, I wouldn't have been able to say this at the time, but it's like one of those movies where it's like the whole village runs to protect themselves from whatever is coming. And then you are the only person that comes back up out of the soil and you go like, okay, now I have to take everything I learned and I have to do it all over again, but this time without anybody's participation. Or I need to find other people and go like, yeah, I'm building a new life. Yeah. A new town. And I didn't realize until some years later how, oh man, I say this the right way. 'cause it's like, I love my mom and dad and I miss them every day. And what they gave me and instilled in me is beyond words.
Dane Cook (44m 28s): But once they were gone it was like I've even felt from them. The challenge here, honey, is showing everybody you didn't need anything or anybody that you are capable of being a contributing member of your community, but also as a person who wants to still reap the benefits of hard work. And so after some years, and You know, going through some pretty hardcore lows, You know, like driving to a gig and just being like, I don't even know where I'm going. I don't know what gig I'm at. Hmm. I don't know where I'm at. Where am I? Like, not just today, I forgot like every day. Like I, I'm on tour, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. And to reiterate,
Travis Chappell (45m 6s): Where am I drug free and alcohol free.
Dane Cook (45m 8s): Yeah. Just depressed.
Travis Chappell (45m 9s): Which is like the opposite of how most people deal with that situation.
Dane Cook (45m 12s): Right. You know I mean. Yeah. I was feeling everything all the time. Yeah. And, and I'm a ruminator. I'm, I'm a, I love creatively thinking. Sure. And yet if I have negative thoughts, I'm very good. The storytelling when I'm in a negative Yeah. Mindset is like, you can
Travis Chappell (45m 27s): Follow that path
Dane Cook (45m 28s): Too deep. Fucking, I followed it, I followed it all the way I actually decided to follow it. I was like, follow this path. Let me, let me You know things have been taken away from me. I'm, I hit a eight year run of success. That felt like, it wasn't just like, okay, this is the moment where I, I settle. It felt like I went off the edge and just fucking boom. Yeah. Well
Travis Chappell (45m 50s): Like calling it success isn't even, doesn't explain it. The success you were experiencing
Dane Cook (45m 55s): Is, it didn't feel like success at that point. Insane. Yeah. It, it all felt like just very in the moment of like, okay. But it made me go, who am I really? Yeah. Based on these things that have happened to me, what kind of person do I wanna be? I, I'm an empathetic person. I'm more sensitive than I even let on. I'm, I'm a lonely person. I, I need to You know from where I live to who I'm surrounded with. Like, I have people that are abandoner. It, it was always leading me to like, I'm, I'm protected. 'cause I end up by myself and then realizing like, oh no, I'm prepared for something completely different. Like who I was in 2005 to who I was in 2015.
Dane Cook (46m 36s): Yeah. Was just like a metamorphosis. You know. And the only way I would've gotten there is by being like destroyed You know. Yeah. And, and I hope people can understand this, like, 'cause it's hardcore to talk about it, but it was very funny. Like that kind of depression and that kind of like, grieving and, and You know to be like, ah, I'm a very sad, rich person. You know, like, everybody feel bad for me. Emo emotionally, I'm, I'm busted out. But like, I'm doing well. How? Yeah. Why am I sad? Like,
Travis Chappell (47m 9s): Well, When, you said that when you're talking to the girl with the arms crossed, you said something about like, You know I'm gonna be really upset when I sit back in my garage and rest my head against my,
Dane Cook (47m 16s): My Lamborghini and just cry. But, but it was in that moment being like, oh. But I'm obviously like, those things didn't matter as much to me as You know what I went through, especially with my mom and dad more than anything else. It was like, it prepared me for what has now become, I would say in the last, especially like eight years, the happiest I've been personally and professionally. Hmm. So I do try to like, when I see people going through it, like the undertow bad, give 'em a hug. I'm always here for you. Yeah. I mean that it's quite literal. I'm here for you if you need me. I don't care what time it is you call. And then the third thing from that is just like, this is making you who you are, your character is coming from this moment right here.
Dane Cook (48m 1s): Yeah. Doesn't come from success. Success gives you nothing but accoutrements. It, it gives you a big house. It gives you a bunch of shit. Yeah. Makes no difference until you have breakdown moments or when someone's in need and who are you to that person. It's the only place that you become. And if you don't have those moments, and I've seen some people that have like, had had like almost too much success. Yeah. Those people almost become so out of touch. Yeah. That they don't know how to be there for somebody else. So for all those reasons, I'm, I miss my parents, but I'm thankful I went through everything I went through kind of all at once. Yeah. Because nothing will ever be that hard again. I was gonna say that.
Dane Cook (48m 41s): I'm prepared for anything. Life ripped
Travis Chappell (48m 42s): The bandaid. I'm
Dane Cook (48m 43s): Here for sure. Trust me. If you call me, you go, dude, I'm going through it. I, I, I'm like, I know. Let's breathe together eight seconds, tongue on the roof of the mouth and we go through the whole fucking thing and we sit in a certain way and we fucking rub our, we rub the, and we take the breath and we look around and we go, we're grateful. We get hands, toes, fingers. We get, and then you go, now here's the best part. Like, what is your purpose? What do you wanna fucking get into? Yeah. And then You know there's a only opportunity from where we're sitting now. Only opportunity. There's only opportunity. I love
Travis Chappell (49m 12s): How much you talk about gratitude because it's one of the most underrated practices, right. That exists when it comes to mental health. I think. Yeah.
Dane Cook (49m 19s): Well it, it's a word that comes with a stigma where it seems like you need to grow along beard. Right. And you need to be fucking, like, wearing a cloak and you need to be like, on the mountain, this mountain and like gratitude. It's like, nah, you can be like, gratitude can be You. know just that acceptance of everything defines you right now. And that's the best. You are the best person defined by the best opportunities, good and bad. And being like, I'm grateful for everything I learned from high watermark moments or fucking the abyss. And
Travis Chappell (49m 47s): Allowing yourself to feel that full feeling of gratitude, right?
Dane Cook (49m 50s): Yeah.
Travis Chappell (49m 51s): Without just like moving on the next thing.
Dane Cook (49m 53s): No, but that I mean again. That's, that's sometimes moving on. the next thing is like, it's like just going to Cold Stone and being like, mix everything in there. It's like it just tastes good, but You know the calories catch up to you and you finally, you look around and you go, oh man, the only thing that I've ever truly felt gratified by is what am I giving back to the people around me? Hmm. So that when they have their fucked up moments, breakdown moments, or even high watermark moments, which can be equally as lonely. I've made it to the top of the top. And people that you think love you disappear. And they're intimidated and there's a lot of jealousy and the animosity and there's a number of reasons people will bail on you. And so for both of those reasons, like I, I look and go, you can have it all, but you have nothing if you're not giving back to the people around you.
Dane Cook (50m 40s): Hmm. Even at the cost of some will take, some will take. Yeah. Some will take and go. And that hurts too. Yeah. Yeah. It hurts more to sit and have nothing to participate with what you've earned and learned. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (50m 53s): Well, there, there's When. you reach the level, like the pinnacle, like you did. It was like, there's just so few people on the planet that can relate to what you're like going through in that time. And it's gotta be extremely
Dane Cook (51m 6s): Lonely. It was, yeah. It was like, I came out of You know Boston. I was the first in my group to pop. Yeah. And then like, somebody like Burr was years away from having his moment. Hmm. So You know, even though that was my graduating class, they didn't, two things. They didn't really know how they to talk to me, even though I was the same person. I think they felt like it had to be different. Yeah. But more so, it was like they were comparing and going like, why aren't I, I feel insignificant. Sure. And it made some people not be around me because, and they would come to me years later and go like, I get it now. Like somebody breaks through and they find I now I understand like Yeah. Right. What you were, what you were going through.
Dane Cook (51m 46s): But right now, when I'm, whether I'm writing or working with my team or, or even just something I'm working on with my fiance or something, like, I'm pulling from so many different perspectives. Yeah. Not just what, how to make something work, but like to go like, oh, how do we put things in there that make this more identifiable to people that understand Not everything always is perfect. Sure. You know Perfectly Shattered is the name of my tour because the shit that broke apart led me to it. A place where, 'cause I did the work today, I feel the best I've ever felt. Perfectly Shattered. I wouldn't change a thing, but I still had to go through some You know tough tides to, to enjoy today.
Dane Cook (52m 28s): Yeah. So Right. Acceptance, gratitude and cold stone and ice cream with everything mixed in. Try it one time. It's fucked. You get a crazy headache. But I promise there's a lot of good bites in there.
Travis Chappell (52m 39s): Is there any advice you have for somebody that's like in the thick of that right now that's just like, listen as far as what, just like listening right now and they're like, man, I'm at that rock bottom moment. Yeah. Like right now. Yeah. And it feels like I, I was, I was literally having a conversation with a buddy last night who's like going through it right now. Yeah. And we're talking about it and try to like, give some perspective to, to be like, if you believe that the long term of life is going to bring satisfaction and Happiness, every person I've ever had on my show we're coming up on like 900 episodes, been doing this amazing for a few years and talk to a variety of super successful people in business, entrepreneurship, comedy, sports, entertainment, everything. And it's like the thing that they all have in common is that crazy rough patch.
Travis Chappell (53m 24s): Yeah. Where everything seemed to be like what? Like what the fuck's happening bottom.
Dane Cook (53m 28s): Like you said the rock running bottom.
Travis Chappell (53m 29s): I'm running obstacle bottom. Yeah.
Dane Cook (53m 30s): The rock bottom. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (53m 31s): What, what do you, what do you, what do you do in that moment to like, bring some perspective in and be like, this only exists in a moment and it's probably what's going to define right who I am for the rest of my life. Yeah.
Dane Cook (53m 40s): You are not your environment. You are brought into an environment. Maybe you were placed in an environment. There's a whole big wide world out there. And sometimes the very first thing that you need to do is quite literally get up and walk and go someplace that you've never been before. Hmm. And be impacted by different sight and sounds. I would do this in New York City a lot. I was very, I deal with a lot of anxiety. Not as much as I used to. I'm, I know my stuff. I know how to like, take care of myself, but at that point, and I had to relinquish my power on a lot of days. Relinquish your power. That means like, don't feel so tethered to the environment into the moment. You can change, you can change everything.
Dane Cook (54m 21s): You can choose to get a breakup or get a divorce or go get help for yourself or leave an abusive situation. Or on the other hand, take your skills and abilities and you can go someplace where You know those skills and abilities would be greater appre appreciated. Hmm. So your environment is just where you're at right now. Think of it as like a shitty truck stop on a very long journey. And you pulled into the one where there's no great food. There's a bad vending machine and there's a bomb
Travis Chappell (54m 52s): In the bathroom. Yeah, yeah,
Dane Cook (54m 53s): Yeah. It's just a fucking weird dude skulking around. He doesn't even have a vehicle. He is just coming in and outta the woods. But you don't, you're, you're, you're on the move. I think that it's real easy to start feeling like you are stalled. Hmm. You are not stalled. If you have the ability in any way, shape or form to, to move, you can create momentum. You can do it in the You know, forgive like a, a, a bad corny version. Like you're sitting in a pool. You can start doing this and you can turn that into like incredible waves and move everything around. Hmm. I'm a firm believer that just that walk and just seeing new places and sites. Yeah. Oxygen to the brain. Yeah. And thinking and starting to implement some positive affirmations.
Dane Cook (55m 36s): I would recommend that as well. Even if you have, you have to Google what are 10 great positive affirmations. Do it and look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and admit to you and only you that you're fucked up and that maybe you're also part of the problem. Don't be afraid to know that you have to change that environment. Both because either you're, you're being impacted negatively or you are impacting that environment negatively. If you can do that. Ooh, man,
Travis Chappell (56m 5s): That's the tough part right there. It's,
Dane Cook (56m 7s): Hey, but when you're alone and you look in the mirror and you go, I used to do this man You know, talk to my You. know looking, really looking into your soul and being like, You know. I won't say what I would say, but like, I was tough on myself. Sure. You know. 'cause only You know. Yeah. Only You know what you've done, who you are, what you got, how happy, sad, whatever. So you look in the mirror, you do those affirmations. You ever see the, there's a study online, the smile study. I don't know what they actually call it about like Yeah, yeah. Like just smiling. The, that the
Travis Chappell (56m 43s): Physical act of smiling. Can you,
Dane Cook (56m 44s): It sense like a little bit of dopamine to your brain. It's, it's, it's something in like what, like the, in like the animal You know world. Yeah. That like certain animals, like certain facial expressions, You know cause an effect or, but even just smiling at yourself and allowing yourself to like, okay, here's some good thoughts. Here's this walk that I'm gonna take. I'm gonna go go somewhere else. Yeah. A new direction. A one mile in a new direction. And then you get back home, you feel good and then you go like, what if I went two miles in a new direction? What if I went 50 miles in a new direction? Yeah. You know. But you can't wallow, you can't You know. Idle mind is a devil's workshop. I'm very good. If I sat very still and just allowed myself to let things overcome me, I'd still be sitting in Boston in a little apartment going like, I'm not good enough.
Dane Cook (57m 30s): I suck nobody, nobody likes me. They all want me to be different. I'm, so I hope that that You know little bit of movement can take you anywhere. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (57m 39s): Yeah. The first step Yeah. Is the
Dane Cook (57m 41s): Hardest one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it, it can literally You know you are not your environment. You're not tethered to it at all. You can, you could get up and go somewhere and say, Hey everybody that I love, I need a year and I'm gonna go to that place San Diego for a year and then I'm gonna come back and figure out what in this room I really even need or want. Or maybe I don't want any of it. Yeah. Right. You know. So realizing that you have all possibility in front of you. If you can think a thought and you can move around, you have the ability to do anything, you could become anything. Yeah. It's real easy to think that we don't make that wave. Yeah. That we're not able to move things around us. It's easy to think, oh no, there's a too many people around me doing that.
Dane Cook (58m 22s): But like, you're as important as everybody else that's making those moves.
Travis Chappell (58m 27s): Yeah. And 10 years from now could look completely different than what right now. It
Dane Cook (58m 32s): Will. It will. No matter what this thing that we're in, it's not conducive to sitting still. You're not allowed. We're not allowed. If I said, you listen dude, I got enough cash and provisions. Yeah. We've got air conditioning, we've got tv, we've got some cool people around us. This is our spot. Boom. That's not the the universe. Somebody, we're demolishing the building. You guys gotta get, it's constantly doing this. You get a phone call and When, you try to sit and go, I'm safe. It's just not what we signed up for. Yeah. So don't be the person that it f it moves you. Be the person that's already on the move so that the universe is like, alright, these guys are can't catch up. Let me, let me focus on this motherfucker sitting there doing nothing, thinks he's
Travis Chappell (59m 11s): Safe, thinks he's safe,
Dane Cook (59m 12s): Thinks he's got everything. And, and, and on the opposite side, it's like you can, you could have it all. You could have everything You know one thing comes along and your big beautiful home is You know. Sadly You know something happens to it and you're like, I gotta rebuild. Right. I get that means I have to go back to work. That means that I have to live somewhere else for, there's a multitude of things that sitting still and not keeping that, that momentum and movement. Yeah. Like it'll get you, it'll come back to get you. Well
Travis Chappell (59m 41s): Whatcha are working on now man? What's got you excited?
Dane Cook (59m 43s): Oh boy. These days? Well I wish I could really talk full fledged about it. We're in a strike obviously with sag. I'm a proud member of SAG since 96. And so some things have been stalled and stunted as we You know. Stay hopeful for You know some great change to come out of that. The standup comedy world, fortunately is able to, we're You know, still able to put out content and tour.
Travis Chappell (1h 0m 7s): It's a nice thing about writing your own stuff, huh? Yeah.
Dane Cook (1h 0m 9s): It's really very gratifying. Bittersweet though. 'cause it's like You know I'm out there and I get to be out on the road. There's, trust me, there's actors where I'm like, man, I wish that you were funny in front of an audience. I wish I could help You know what I mean. Yeah. That'd be another way that you, you could look and go like, all right, what, how can I expand my platform? Sure. But that being said, I, I'm very hopeful and I stay optimistic. For me it's like touring, being back out there now on my 15th major tour, the second phase of it, the Perfectly Shattered Tour, October, November dates. Take us through Texas and Florida back through Boston for a couple shows. Ontario, Canada, and then like 10 or 12 other spots. Nice. I'm editing Above It, All two.
Dane Cook (1h 0m 50s): So the, we did two nights in a row at my home when we filmed that. Oh, okay. And the second show is completely different. Nice. And so you've
Travis Chappell (1h 0m 58s): Been sitting on this for a minute then
Dane Cook (1h 0m 60s): Editing it because I wanted it to look and feel very different from part one. Okay. So, and there was a lot of great crowd work and stuff. People were sitting on my lawn not knowing they were coming to my house. They were I shuttled. Oh really? People in and they had no clue they were coming to my front lawn. Wow. They thought they were just seeing a secret DANE COOK show at like some theater or club. Yeah. And so now they're You know sitting on. And so for the second night I spent a lot of time telling stories that also involved, much like the show you saw kind of conversing with people. Yeah. So Above, It All to, we'll have a different title but we're editing it now. And I'm hoping that by the end of the summer I finish that. And the goal there is I've been offered some distribution channels, but I'm enjoying self distributing about that.
Dane Cook (1h 1m 43s): Yeah. And I'm finding a way to not only make it lucrative You know monetization wise, I just like owning my IP. Sure. And I like being able to try and sometimes fail a little bit. But mostly it's been successful to share that with some other artists coming up to be like, Hey, there are very cheap options to sell distributions that you could You know you could make bank if you Right. Zeitgeist sit up a little bit or so for a number of reasons. I'm excited about that. And then a new special, we're gonna film at the end of the tour in like November When,
Travis Chappell (1h 2m 14s): You decided to do self-distribution. 'cause it's this like a big thing in the comedy world right now. Right. Is where You know, know you have these S stream platforms that are giving some lucrative deals and then you have some people that are self-producing and then they put it on Youtube. Right. But then Youtube has control and they can shut it down or they can restrict ads or like not monetize as much. So you went like full self-distribution. Right. You basically sell on your website. I think I watched it on Amazon Prime. You watch on Apple TV
Dane Cook (1h 2m 38s): As well. It's ons on Google Play, Google Play, apple tv, Amazon Prime, of course my website and then like 30 other factions ar Yeah. Around the world. And then I don't want to give it all away, but like, and now we're expanding it even further. Okay. Through my distribution partners. This is a group that I'll talk about more as time goes on to be able to say like, these guys can come into your world. You own your IP. And all they're looking to do is for their fee. They don't own a piece of it, they're not taking a piece of it. They just literally help you to get distributors essentially distributed in the right way. In a beautiful way, in a way that like you wanna present without anybody impeding and saying, Hey, you need this poster, or we don't like your title, or you should change your look.
Dane Cook (1h 3m 18s): It's just so fulfilling. 'cause this is something I wanted to be able to, like You know, in 2001 when I got my first record deal, I kind of knew I was getting screwed. I was already reading contracts with my attorneys and trying to like learn legalese. Yeah, yeah. In certain words. And I'm like, Ooh, You know. It's like, I don't know
Travis Chappell (1h 3m 36s): Why, but I feel like I'm being raked over the coal.
Dane Cook (1h 3m 38s): Or even just like certain words where you're like, but this is talking about streaming and what if the word streaming is called something else in five years? What if they and it did, it went from downloading to something to streaming. Yeah. Yeah. And those little caveats change the way they feel. They need to share revenue with you. So just always dreaming of a world where you could go, man, what if I didn't need to lease it to that person? Yeah. To where they go, well, if we're producing it with you, we, we we own more. Like some of my stuff I don't own outright. It's a bummer because you're like, oh man. Like if they sit on it,
Travis Chappell (1h 4m 13s): Well, it's literally your stuff.
Dane Cook (1h 4m 14s): Yeah. It's my stuff and I made it, I wrote it and like You know, you barely see a royalty from it versus the things that over the, like the last 15 years I've had the chance to self-produce and lease out to certain entities or now distribute and you go, it's fun to wake up in the middle of the night, log in and go, this is globally going right into my company. Yeah. And what do I want to do next? Sure. From it. Okay. This is work. Because that's my whole thing too. It's like I'll buy a co pair of sneakers once in a while or tell my fiance like, all right, we'll do some fun shit. Or like, I'll take you somewhere, but I've always just wanted to fold everything right back into what else can I make Sure. Yeah. Right. So that's kind of where we're looking to take it. You're an
Travis Chappell (1h 4m 53s): Artist. I mean, that's, that's what gets you fired up.
Dane Cook (1h 4m 56s): Right? It's, it's the only thing that gets me fired up is like, what can I try to do? And if I'm not great at it or good at it, or maybe even shouldn't be doing it. Like what can, how can I give this a shot? Yeah. So for all those reasons, I, I feel like the next year ahead are gonna be, I'm, I'm very enthused about it.
Travis Chappell (1h 5m 15s): Good man. Well, look, I, I very much appreciate you taking the time. You're very busy man. So Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for coming out.
Dane Cook (1h 5m 20s): We'll see each other on dmm. I'm sure we'll be after this like hitting each other up and shooting the shit before You know it.
Travis Chappell (1h 5m 24s): Yes sir. Thanks so much for coming on, man. If you're watching this, checking this out, Above It All is the most recent special, maybe even by the time this comes out, Above It All too might be even close to being finished or recently finished. So Apple tv, Google, amazon, DANE COOK dot com. Follow DANE at DANE COOK. I'm sure you already are. If you're not, what are you doing? If you want, if you want some good laughs and, and, and honestly, somebody who makes me think a lot too, like I, I like, I like a lot of your stuff because ah, man, Thank
Dane Cook (1h 5m 50s): You, I love people
Travis Chappell (1h 5m 50s): Who, who make me laugh, but also throw some stuff out there. Yeah. Make some stuff every, every once in a while that make me go like, oh, that's
Dane Cook (1h 5m 56s): A really interesting, fun to laugh, fun to talk shop. Yeah. And even more interesting sometimes to figure out like what makes somebody tick and Yes. How did they do what they did? So Thank you for providing an opportunity for me to get into all the, the nitty gritty bullshit. Yeah. Yeah.
Travis Chappell (1h 6m 9s): Appreciate you man. Thank, you. Cool. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for spending some time with me and my friends. If you want to be better friends with me, then head over to Travis Chappell dot com slash team to subscribe to my free newsletter, your friend Travis, where I share what's on my mind about life building a business, raising kids, being married, and anything else I would normally share with my close circle of friends. That's Travis Chappell dot com slash team. And my biggest ask of you, since I'm sharing my friends with you, is to share this episode with a friend of yours that hasn't listened to the show yet. And leave us a quick five star rating in Apple Podcasts and in Spotify it would mean the world to us as it helps us make sure that this show continues to be more valuable to you. Thanks in advance and I'll catch you on the next episode.